Extreme Adventures in Motherhood (and life and knitting and photography and trying to keep a house with 3 boys from smelling like a locker room!)

I have an interesting opportunity.

Saturday, I’ll have 10 minutes, to talk to (then- much more time to talk WITH) MOPS Mentors…… http://www.mops.org/

Part of being a MOPS Mentor- is to come along side of a MOPS Mom, helping her to discover God in her daily life and equipping her to grow closer to Him. She is someone who has “been there, done that” She may not have all the answers, and she may not do everything right, (personally- I prefer that she NOT! Perfect would be pretty tough to learn from, not exactly an attainable goal for me! )

But, she DOES authentically live a God centered, loving life. She has the opportunity to whisper hope to moms, that they can survive motherhood, marriage, life. etc… with God’s help. Mentors don’t TELL Moms what to do, they help them discover God’s will for them. Mentors DO share what has worked for them, and what hasn’t, without expecting that each Moms experience will be the same. Mentoring is more about modeling than it is about teaching. Some Mentors speak to their MOPS groups- some do not. It depends on the unique design and calling of each Mentor.

If you had 10 minutes to tell a group of MOPS Mentors what you need from them… what would you say?????? PLEASE COMMENT- so I can communicate the most prevalent MOMS needs!

(and thnx- you’re helping write my talk!)

You don’t need to be involved in MOPS to answer- you don’t need to be a Mom for that matter- the Mentoring process is similar regardless of the details involved.

OK- FIRST, I’m a happily married woman, so relax.

Mike is my son. He’s 16. Yesterday- I taught the kids at church….so our family drove in 2 cars…( I was there for both services..they didn’t need to be)

On the way home from lunch, Mike drove home with me…I said “Wanna go on a date? ” (I’ve always struggled to make individual time with each of my guys— it’s tough to do.)

He looked at me like I was a nut…..(and with that— teenaged “am I in trouble—- or is there something in it for me? look…) then said- “yeah- I guess.”

Mike and I love to read. We went to Borders- shopped- picked out some stuff- got a coffee for me— (more like a dessert! new one—-mocha fudgey thing*slurp!* and an IBC cream soda for him… they didn’t have energy drinks—-(thats his caffeine of choice—- yes- I know it’s not great, for him… or me… I guess everybody has their vice… )

Mike picked out a survival book— (he hunts with Dad and brother— we all fish and camp….) But- really- Mike and I just love to know weird and interesting facts… we call them “useless nuggets of knowledge” actually- our crazy joint goal— is to know and learn everything about EVERYTHING!

Does anyone remember the movie—- “Short Circuit” from the 80’s?????
http://movies.aol.com/movie/main.adp?_pgtyp=pdct&tab=main&mid=5022&date=20060327&uid=5532

Let’s just say- Michael and I CONSTANTLY “NEED MORE INPUT!!!!”

There was NO big spiritual discussion… no POLITICS…. (Mikes absolutely MOST heartfelt topic…. I am clueless as to why—– when he was 5 he was canvassing strangers (under supervision-no worries) on the beach- asking who they were voting for— and WHY! While I am opinionated about issues— I am in NO WAY a political activist…. I’m more about social activism…. helping people- directly…) anyway….

We laughed about the crazy nasty things you can survive on….(he pointed out that violets are edible—-but taste bad.. (he knows violets are one of my favorites…..) If you kill an animal for survival purposes you should save and dry the blood- grind it into powder, and use it to “enrich soup” NASTY………. I told you. (We don’t really prefer “Survivor”- but this new show- “Survivor Man” Yeah- we’re hooked. No fighting- no manipulation— just an interesting personal struggle—- ingenuity… and well- GROSS STUFF! (I’ll spare you the rest……)
http://science.discovery.com/convergence/survivorman/survivorman.html

Anyway- between discussing the book and show—- it was interesting to say the least.
Don’t worry- I won’t be adding any of it to my culinary repretoire.

Kids grow up. I KNOW, I look at that big- MAN CHILD… and I think—- what happened to those baby toes???? (They more resemble a hairy Hobbit’s feet now)
It REALLY does feel like I was pushing him in a stroller yesterday…..

There is grief involved in seeing your child grow up— a good- right and kind of happy grief…. a loss and a gain — all at the same time……I know he’ll never be my baby again…. LITERALLY…. but he’ll always be my baby… in my heart.

Yet— he’s also this interesting- smart- wonderful young man, now— whom I enjoy knowing- and getting to know- even better.

Each of my 3 children are so unique, so incredibly different- and so special.

We live a unique and interesting life….. Our dinner conversations are interesting—– they range- from Spongebob squarepants…. to “Kipper The Dog” to playdough–to Spiderman and super powers. Political issues, art and middle school relationship issues…..to who passed the loudest gas……(I am SURROUNDED BY MEN!!!!!!) There are issues of a business executive..(DH) issues of ministry…..we struggle to make sure everyone gets a chance to talk….

It was great to take the time- to just be able to focus on one. Mike. His interests. Him as a developing person. I like him. He’s pretty cool. I love seeing the Man that God is creating in him. It’s like witnessing creation. Incredible, really.

I love all “My guys” Honestly- I’ve been dating them all for years—- it’s just something we’ve always done…. and hopefully will continue to. (as long as they’ll let me!)

I know it sounds cliche’ - but I am really a blessed woman.

I HIGHLY recommend “dating around” when it comes to your family. It’s hard to find time… but important to MAKE it.

Dear Jesus- I ask you to bless Michael…. I ask you to bless Matt, to bless Noah and Kyle…. please help me to love them all well, to make time for eachone, to communicate my love and yours to each of them, in a way that they understand and feel it. I thank you for the priviledge of being involved in their lives…I love you Lord- amen.

Psychedelic Cell Phone…… or- Cell phones don’t like WATER….

This is what my cell phone menu- is SUPPOSED to look like——-

This is what it looks like after taking a “Mystery bath”
(No one has admitted to getting it wet… but i doubt we had a sudden rainstorm in my kitchen….)

2 funny things about this.

1) DH and I always fight about whether to purchase the extended warranties on stuff— ( I always say it’s a waste….) and he always wins—-

Boy- am I glad he did. The new phone will be here in a few days. You were right. I was wrong. ( I hate that)

2) Remember this post?…. http://spaces.msn.com/nottinbutknittin/blog/cns!9E93166BA3D8321!818.trak
Let’s just say— you don’t know how dependant you ARE on something — until it’s gone…. I guess thats how it always is!

But- I also gotta say- the world won’t end if I’m without a cell for a while.

Noah ’s response? “Mommy- just use the “Fam-bily phone—- the one at our home!”
I suppose I will.

A SAHM Confesses…..I’m AWOL.
EDITED: 3/23/2006I have made some edits to this post- because I think it’s important, to clarify my intent.

OK. Thats it. The war is over.

Not the one you may be thinking of. I’m talking about “The Mommy Wars”.

Here is one account:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/mommywars/mommy.htm
I’m not the only one who’s been involved. The Mommy Wars are everywhere— and they are not new.

I may not have all the super powers– necessary to end the war—-(though Noah say’s I’m “Spider Mom— to his Spider Boy” ) but- I want to confess to going AWOL. Part of being a Christian- is respecting the differences that God has designed and created- both in us— and in His plan for our lives. I want to do that.

Honestly- I left the battle a long time ago—- but I want to tell the Working Mom’s and the Single Mom’s how sorry I am- for ever being a part. Maybe if you know what One SAHM has really thought and felt— it could help end the war… and we could learn to encourage and love each other– and help each other honor God with all of our lives…..

So… here’s the confession:

Dear Working and Single Mom’s:

1) Sometimes— I am jealous of you. (Yeah- I know it’s stupid—- your life is no piece of cake) I am jealous– cause- well— I suppose it’s because I sometimes wish I could GO to WORK… and leave it there- and then, come home. My work follows me everywhere- including the bathroom….(Since you’re a Mom, I suppose you know that!)

I’m sorry for overlooking the unique struggles you face—- because I’m blinded by my own. And- I’m sorry for assuming mine are harder to deal with.
They are not— they are just different.

2) Sometimes- I ‘m afraid you’re better than me— because , well- because I think you must be WORTH more— probably because you get paid to do your job….. while I KNOW in MY gut this isn’t true—- I believe our value is established by God–separate from anything we do- or don’t do….– I guess- I’m still suffering with CAD– Culturally Affective Disorder–(yes- I think I made that up- but I know it exists) - Like it or not , I am affected by our market driven culture! I’m STILL working on that!

I’m sorry for assuming that’s how you feel- or what you think. It has nothing to do with you. It’s about how I’m valuing or DE-valuing myself. I can choose NOT to be affected by culture. My heart is to be affected by God.

3) Sometimes I think you look down on me because I stay home… Like, I’m a loser who couldn’t get a job..or- .like I’m stupid or something…

That makes me feel insecure— feeling insecure- makes me feel defensive—- like I need to defend the RIGHTNESS of my choice to stay home…. In order to do that— I have to prove You are wrong. If I prove that I’m right-(well- and prove that you’re wrong) — you can’t look DOWN on me…… then I don’t have to feel insecure.

I’m sorry about that….. It’s not right to take my insecurities out on you. They didn’t come from you. You may not even feel that way. Assuming is always a problem.

4) Sometimes I think you’re selfish. The truth is— I am. Sometimes, (at moments) my decision to stay home has been because I just couldn’t let someone else love my kids… or experience their lives with them….sometimes I hate the selfish part of ME that says “Get a job… escape before these kids turn your brain to mush…” There are things I do as a woman— FOR ME. So I can function… as a wife and as a Mom…. if I don’t do them… well- people will die— ok— thats a little dramatic— but their spirits– their emotional beings would sure be “wrecked” so would mine. It’s crazy to judge you for doing what you need to… you should.

Maybe you DO need to work— in order to BE a good Mom…. maybe it’s for financial reasons… maybe it’s a passionate call on your life…. anyways- I’m sorry for just thinking it’s because you’re selfish. It’s NOT my job to judge or assume your motives— honestly- I have a hard enough time sorting thru my own. It’s wrong to put my feelings of selfishness onto you.

5) Finally- especially to the single Moms— I’m sorry for being jealous of you- too. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to argue with someone else about how to parent the kids, or about WHAT to cook for dinner– or what to do on the weekend……I know I SHOULD appreciate having the input. I should appreciate the SHARING…but- I don’t always— well- probably because I like CONTROL……

While marriage has issues all of it’s own. It’s also wonderful….. I love being married— and I’m sorry that sometimes that may make you jealous too—-but- theres not much I can do about that. Please help me learn how to be your friend— without feeling guilty about being married-or having to pretend like I don’t….— Cause- well… then I feel like I have to defend myself too— and that just ends up messy for both of us. It’s a hard road- but I want to learn to navigate it.

So- here’s the net/net-

I am AWOL from the Mommy Wars. I look AWFUL in camouflage anyways. (side bar— what IS mommy Camouflage? diapers— toilet paper? Drivers permits? Barney DVD’s? (I hate Barney ,BTW)
I don’t know— but, I prefer black… it doesn’t make my butt look as big.

It will still be hard to learn how to Mother along side of you–we are different- but we’re also the same. I will probably mess up again… I’ll get insecure—defensive. I’ll have a hard time separating what God is calling ME to do— from what God is calling you to do.
We can do different things- and both be right.

I’ll try to see your perspective.. or better- yet— I’ll ASK you what it is… instead of assuming….(that’s a novel thought!) I’m still not sure how we can both be right-(we are) — but- I suppose I don’t have to understand. Because it IS true- separate from what I believe or feel… Some things just are true- you don’t have to understand.

If you’re wondering WHY I bothered… well- I guess it’s cause I really sense that God wants moms to “give it a rest”….. it’s kind of tough to rest.. when you’re at war….. the vet’s that I know say it’s nearly impossible….

How do I know it was God? Well… that’s a whole “OTHER” question….Let’s just say— sometimes- for me anyways– God whispers in the voices of other people… (not just in my head—;) 3 different times I heard about the “Mommy Wars” in the past few weeks… and I’m reading “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller… I AM NOT Donald Miller–(as far as I know he’s never even been a mother) -

I am challenged by it.

I am also challenged to respond to these verses— cause— I DON’T know your heart- or motive… and you don’t know mine…. unless we’re honest. Only God knows. So thats it— as honest as I can be— (cause there are probably things I don’t understand about myself yet)

I’m sorry.

Peace to all Moms-

love , a SAHM
Hebrews 4:6-
6It still remains that some will enter that rest, and those who formerly had the gospel preached to them did not go in, because of their disobedience. 7Therefore God again set a certain day, calling it Today, when a long time later he spoke through David, as was said before:
“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.”[d] 8For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. 9There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. 11Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.
12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Jesus the Great High Priest
14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,[e] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Dear Jesus- I ask you to help me with “the Mommy wars” I WANT these issues to be settled-(at least for me)– but they will probably rear up again…. please help me to be confident in my own choices without demeaning the choices of- or judging the motives of others—- I also ask you for wisdom Lord— because- sometimes- we DO need to lovingly confront someone about stuff—- and it’s hard to know what to confront— and what to respect as different. I’m just glad you CAN sympathize with ALL of our weaknesses. I love you Lord- and trust you with my heart- Amen.

pretty knittin…… so pretty in fact…

OK- admittedly silly….;)
Dear SP7

You have helped me prove a knitters query…

Does knitting ever call for the wearing of a tiara?

The answer….

THIS knitting does!

The H&S needles are truly wonderful… I swapped a current WIP onto them– (yes— wrecklessly risking guage…)

They are THAT good….

Tiara wearin…. KSH knitting… with pretty knitty bling……(stitch markers from ebay) GOOD.

Thnx again…

Also– that is my Cappucino— Kitty— He’s not sure what all the ruckus is about—- but is certainly trying to figure it out….

well— that or he wants to eat my yarn….

STAY AWAY FROM THE NEEDLES, CAT. Don’t go there.

told ya- silly

Some days I just KNOW I am happier to see my “Mail person”, than she is to see me….

(click the title to my other blog for pics… =for some reason Blogger IS NOT cooperating picture wise!)

Yesterday was one of those days!

First Update:

My SP7 pal… already recieved her final reveal pkg……

I think she liked it! In the whole SP (secret pal) thing– my goal is always to just blow away the recipient…. it’s fun- and besides– I really think its a cool way to reach out to people I don’t yet know and show them a TINY tangible bit of God’s incredible love for them…

anyway– Lu has been fun to spoil– you can stop by her blog and see the goodies I’ve sent:

http://knit4ever.blogspot.com/ (She’s incredible! Check out her published patterns at Chiagu and Magknits too!!!!
pics from yesterdays pkg not up yet…. but will be anytime- she’s great about that!)

But, it wasn’t just the OUTGOING mail that was fun today—- the pics below show the INCOMING!

YAY! Unbelievably—-

My SP7 sent me a tiny pkg, and it arrived today too!

Hold on… you won’t believe this…. drumroll please…. my mom was rt— GOOD things DO come in small packages…..

Pictured below are the incredible… SOUGHT after…. Un-obtainable Holz and Stein ebony Circs!!!!!!!!!

I’ve decided NOT to ask questions…. I’m Italian….. we understand that sometimes- it’s best not to ask how someone accomplishes something as wonderful as this…. and, especially as my SP7 pkgs are arriving from :Joisy (New Jersey) ….I’m just gonna say THANX!!!!!!

She also sent some delectable macadamia crunch candies to share— but ummm I didn’t.
They were tasty with some hot coffee yesterday afternoon thought!

Hmmmm….. The pretty green card was also Hawaiian ……maybe my SP7 has been on vacation?????? I’ll be stalking blogs to figure that out…..

Anyway—- I was GOING to cast on a new project last night—– but DH had a flight to catch— so we had some family time— then had to get him ready— so will be casting on TODAY!!!!!!

There is also a pic of an e-bay catch—- 8 skeins of KSH….. hmmmm haven’t decided what to do with it yet— though the wrap in the new Rowan might be it….. not sure yet! It was a great deal—-alsmost HALF PRICE! One thing about me— I like nice things—- but I am THE QUEEN of cheap.

Finally—– The BIG box at the bottom—- My SOCKS That ROCK Club Pkg arrived!
http://www.bluemoonfiberarts.com/

Pretty “rainforest jasper” yarn–pretty colorway brown ,gold ,green and teals…- (this will be my first STR experience)

Club Binder-cute!
Cedar Creek Sock Pattern- I think I can , I think I can…..
“Don’t Come Knockin’ if your socks Ain’t Rockin” bumper sticker….
“Rockin Sock Club ” button which will go on one of my knittin bags…

and adorable “emergency sock yarn key chain”— which- ir you’ve read yesterdays post— would have come in handy at a family event I was at over the weekend…. I could have used tooth picks! NP… ;)

Thats it for now— Ciao!

Dear Lord— I pray that you continue to bless Lu- with creativity— I also pray that you bless my SP7 giver for blessing me with such a great surprise!

amen

EPT….Me and My Big Mouth… or Why I SHOULD take my Knitting to Family Events……

EPT No, this entry has NOTHING to do with pregnancy tests…..it has everything to do with my newest personal diagnosis: (I’m awaiting medical journals to seek me out for my clinical advice on it’s treatment and diagnosis…..)

EPT: Extremely Poor Timing Disorder- The afflicted, with varying frequency- loudly proclaim statements- that can be or are, due to the “timing” of the statements (not necessarily their content.)… painful to those within verbal proximity.

I’ve decided this a a disease I am occasionally afflicted with. I had a “recurrance” over the weekend.

EPT can be a very painful disorder. Not just for the sufferer, but, for anyone in verbal proximity. This weekend’s “recurrance” is a prime example of that.

Suffice it to say— that I was at an event, with members of my extended family…. when I made a “humorous” yet, true statement–(actually, it was about my “need” to knit)…..– that because of circumstances, I was not considering….nor fully aware of….. caused the entire “table” to let loose an audible *gasp* that made clear my “faux pas”……..and my Disorder: EPT.

The details aren’t important— but it’s not the FIRST occurance I’ve had with this “disorder”……the issue here isn’t whether the *gasps* were necessary… or that the statement was made…. but the choices I had to make, after the fact.

As soon as the statement flew from my lips…. I wished it was a “trained circus bird ” that I could whistle for— and that would obediently, and SWIFTLY, return to my mouth— never to be HEARD by those present….

No such luck.

That bird had flown the coop. And, as I am gifted with …..well… let’s call it “PROJECTION” , (I am LOUD- it’s a cultural thing– I’m Italian!) there was no ambiguity about what was said- or who said it…..

I immediately, applied “verbal salve” connecting the statement to myself… and continued quickly on… in hopes of smoothing the situation..although I felt that the person involved was “fine with it”.. the potential for hurt and misunderstanding nipped at my heart all day. I just don’t like the feel of “unfinished business”.

Choices:

1) Avoid the people involved for the rest of my life. (I thought about it)

2) Over dramatize the situation–become a victim of my mouth…..seek pity for my stupidy- and (probably for the other person..) make it even worse….( gotta be careful in apologies– they can become drama scenes—– and make it even WORSE)

3) Just honestly, openly deal with it.

Option 3 seemed like my best choice.

I sent an email….. casual, but direct. It was recieved with appreciation and the reassurance that, “WE ARE GOOD”

Funny how sometimes just dealing with EPT recurrances…. can CURE it! (well- for the moment;)

The truth is… in relationships- we occasionally hurt each other— sometimes intentionally… sometimes not….. we just mess up. While I try to do my best NOT too….. I think it’s equally important to know HOW to handle it once you’ve blown it…….

Maybe you have other ideas that would help someone—- go ahead… post’em!

BTW— I am convinced— that had I brought my current lace knitting project into the event with me….. I’d have kept my mouth under better control……just FYI.

Sticking with the EPT theme…. having something to do with my hands and concentrate on a bit— can function as a “prophylactic” for my mouth!!!!!

Dear Lord…. I know I am prone to EPT.. and just plain not THINKING before I speak— please help me be sensitive to those around me…..please protect them from my “recurrances” and heal me of my Disorder!!!! Help me learn to be “careful” in my speech…and when I’m not— help me to do what’s right !!!..I love you Lord- amen….

Proverbs 13:3

3Careful words make for a careful life;
careless talk may ruin everything.

kiri blocking

March 17
Kiri… Take me away… to where I’m going…. do do do
STUPID title- yes- I know this…

But I’m excited!!!! I DID IT!!!!

Is it Earth shattering? Life Changing? No.

But, I learned stuff- and it’s finished and it’ll stay DONE…( unlike housework and diaper changes…) and well- I like it.

So there.

What am I going on about?

KIRI. After all that CHristmas knitting—- I made myself a present!

My first mulit-part lace charted project. Yahoo!!!!

Again… the STATS…

Kiri Shawl Pattern:
Free online @ alltangledup.com– THANKS POLLY!!!!!
Yarn:
Colourmart UK 100% Cashmere- in 4 ply—-Burgundy color
(ebay) $27.00 (not sure on final yardage— its coned yarn… hard to estimate…prob about 800 yds.)
Needles:
Addi Natura circular needles in US #8’s
start date:
February 25- as an impulse… (mostly- thought it would be an experiment—- have been Afraid to start this project for almost a YEAR)
Finished: March 16- blocking as I type….

Blocked measurements:

76″x48″ not sure why.. probably in my blocking i’m good with it.

I’m really just posting for her to be fawned over— so PLEASE comment away!

Knitters know— this is one of those “MOMENTS” where you thought you COULDN’T but you did… a major accomplishment.

Besides- I learned to sometimes just FOLLOW the DIRECTIONS as written…. you don’t always have to UNDERSTAND everything– for your project to turn out!!!!!

Dear Lord- help me apply what I learned from this project into my spiritual life… I know that sometimes I don’t have to UNDERSTAND all that you’re doing— to go along with your “Pattern”.. but just to follow the next direction..and trust your wisdom in design…..I love you Lord- amen.