Extreme Adventures in Motherhood (and life and knitting and photography and trying to keep a house with 3 boys from smelling like a locker room!)

Gifts. Presents. Shopping.  Just about finished.  Whew.

Let’s face it, some people are easier to buy for than others. There are gifts that I knew immediately would be “just right” for someone, and then there are gifts- that I’ll sweat about until long after Christmas.

There are picky people- that are tough to shop for- and then there are people who are genuinely thrilled with whatever you may give them. Honestly- there are people that I shop for out of “duty, and then there are those ai shop for out of delight.  Regardless- it’s also true- that I love to give gifts. Especially to the people who are dearest to me.

I always have. It isn’t about cost- or impressing, it’s about thought and blessing. An expression of love. Years ago- I read a book- “The Five Love Languages” I was not surprised to discover- that one of mine, is “Gifts”.

I love to give them, and yes- to get them. The more thought and care that is involved- the more I love it. Whether it’s knitting slippers to warm feet on a cold December morning- or surprising someone with something they really need, want or love– I’m there.

But honestly- this has been a struggle- in my walk with God- see—I love Him… but God doesn’t NEED anything, nor want for anything….besides— what have I that I can offer? In light of the glory and sovereignty of God— I have nothing to offer HIM!  Do I?

On the way to the post office- from the back seat of the car.. I heard a little voice singing…… “Ba rum pum pum pum…. ra pa pum pum…. I play my drum for Him, ba rum pa pum pum..”  And, I think I found my answer.

As I’ve been making my way through Luke (a chapter a day for the month of December- to help me keep “Christmas in the Context of the Gospel” ) I came to todays reading Luke 21- about the “widow’s mite” and was once again reminded of my favorite “Christmas special” of all time….The Little Drummer Boy.  I think they are related.

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum

A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come. Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That’s fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum? Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum Me and my drum.

Luke 21:1-4

The Widow’s Offering

1As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. 2He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins.[a] 3″I tell you the truth,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. 4All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

In these verses- we do’t really learn much about the Widow- only simply that she was a widow- and that she gave what she had to give- and Jesus saw, and took delight in it. More so than even over the extravagant “offerings” of others- why? because she gave all she had, while others gave from their excess.

Have yet to knit-

 A hat (copy of a Hollister Co. Hat ) (already started…fingers crossed, which makes it hard to knit, I’ll tell you that.)

Tiny little ballerina slippers for my niece.

 Have yet to do….

Oh- way too much to list here. Let’s just say I have 3 spreadsheets I’m working from…

Christmas Spreadsheets: (yeah, I’m crazy like that)

1) Christmas gifts- bought to buy and wrapped columns.

2) To do list- cleaning

2) To buy- cook/bake list for parties- (Christmas Eve and Christmas day)

 PS- have to make a trip to the vet- our girl Sami (aka: bad dog Sami) had another (much smaller) seizure this morning… please pray for our girl. thnx.

It’s been a theme around here lately- the holding on, letting go thing.  (yes- I know, a recurring theme- shut up;) My oldest turned 18 last week.  And again- I had to pry my fingers loose from around him… so God could continue His work without my getting in the way.  A letting go.

Then- I’ve been cleaning, de-cluttering and  clearing for the holidays. (Yes- still, I know I know) I belong to a local freecycle.org group and a request came through for baby gear/clothes for a crisis pregnancy center.  The truth is, I’ve been holding on to my youngest’s baby gear.  There are warm clothes- blankets, a stroller, bassinette, pack n play… all the accoutrement, just sitting in the basement and closet so I could ocassionally get all hormonal and run a hand over all that baby blue and Noah’s Ark theme stuff.  Holding on.

When I saw the request, I felt like it was directed to me.  Not so much by the requester- but by God.  I knew someone holding on to so many baby things that could help.   ME.

I suddenly thought it might be selfish to hold on to things someone else needs so much.   I responded with an e-mail and started packing it up.  I kept the most memory laden- tiny footie- pajamas…Easter,  Christmas and special occasion outfits, the silkies (my little guy has a blankie thing;) have been love beyond usefulness, and are staying. Every single one.  The rest?  I’m letting go.

Being a mother is an ever changing job.  One phase shifts to another.  Preschool turns to college, play pens to soccer fields.  There is a bit of grief mixed with joy over each new phase. 

I am done with the baby phase. I cried a bit while I packed it all up.  Somehow it made it official, no more babies.  (Well- there have been miracles- but at this point, it looks like that song has ended;)  First, I felt sad, then-then, a tiny flutter of excitement. God has always taken me from one phase to another in my life.  Sure- sometimes the journey is round-about.  Sometimes I wish there was a heavenly GPS system telling me what and where I would turn next.  But- there is always something next.

I have enjoyed every phase of mothering.  (Yes even the pre-teen and teen thing;) I know- that I’ll enjoy the next.  Whatever that may be.

Dear Lord- It’s both sad and exciting to see where you’ll lead next.  It’s also scary.  My days as a SAHM with little ones at home are quickly ending.  Noah’s readying to go to school, Mike’s looking at colleges, and Matt is maturing and growing by leaps and bounds. I love being a Mom- and know that doesn’t end- but it does change.  Please help me to move through the changes with grace and love.  God- help me to know what and when to hold on, and when to let go.  I’m ready for whatever you have next- I love you Lord- amen.

The walks are shoveled, the fireplace is lit, cocoa has been served. (Drips and coffee cup bottom shaped chocolate rings are still on the kitchen table, somebody really should clean that up) There are crystalized mittens gloves and snowpants  dripping on the hard wood. Shearling slippers have been warmed by the fire, and put on tiny snow reddened feet.

Chili is in the crockpot… and I’m happily knitting while I check my “instant order updates” on Amazon. A little snow? - (ok , a lot of snow) won’t stop me from Christmas shopping!

The rest of  todays plans? Movies on demand, “Facing the Giants” DVD and “Little House on The Prairie Christmas” DVDs, dinner in front of the fireplace… maybe a bit of shortbread cookie baking…and knitting,  lots of Christmas knitting- while my teens play runescape, the little guy thaws, and my tired from shoveling our house and others- DH naps;)

Yep- that is a perfect snowday. 

 Vanilla cake with chocolate frosting—-Check

  Sushi- check (and yuk.)

  Quizno’s Classic Italian 12″ sub-Check

  Sobe Energy drink- yellow- check

  Salt and vinegar chips- check

(A strange combination for dinner- but the birthday boy’s favorites- just the same.)

Birthday presents and cards- Wrapped and ready.

Dinner shared, lights off, candles blown, and cake eaten.  Our family tradition of sharing  favorite memories of the person being celebrated, was enjoyed by all.  All the bases of a birthday have been covered.  Or,  so I thought.

After the celebrating was over- he announced- “Mom, you know I have to go to the post office”  ….  *blink, glazed look of confusion on the face of the mother.  “Huh?  Not NOW? Right?”  I was in my comfy sweats- not exactly visit to the post office wear. “No but soon, I have to register for the draft.”  was his answer.  Without thought, my face communicated what my heart was feeling.  My husband and sons looked at me like I was crazy. (not the first time)

“You knew that”   Was their reply.  I suppose- somewhere in my brain that information was stored.  But,  it was stuffed in the back stored somewhere under: “things I don’t have to think about.”  Until now. As a woman- turning 18 meant being able to vote- the ability to get into bars/clubs…. but register for the draft?  Not so much.

Sure, we don’t have a draft.  But, we’re at war.  Every single day, husbands, sons and brothers, mothers enlist and are called on to serve and yes- to even fight.  

Regardless of your political viewpoint, in honor of my boys birthday- and in honor of all the men/women serving or left behind-will you pray with me for them and for our nations leaders?

 ”Dear Lord- Today, I see the boy you entrusted into our care- become and official “adult.”  I still see the tiny boy with big eyes behind the 200 lb man who is now in his body.  I love him as much as any mother loves her son- I pray that you’d be with him every day, continue to guide his choices and be at work in his life, where ever that leads. 

God for all those mom’s, wives- sisters who have loved ones in the service- I pray that you’d be with both them and their loved ones with guidance, love, compassion, protection, healing and peace.  I ask you to guide our nations leaders, and I pray for peace and security- two things that you alone can truly give.  Amen”

Stick a fork in Spidey- He’s done!

 I always think I can’t do new things… until I try.  For as long as I’ve been knitting- I’ve avoided colorwork. As in- run from it like it’s on fire… avoidance.

 Then, I found this hat pattern.   Too perfect for my little guys Christmas .  I had to at least TRY.

Now- I’ve less than 10 rows to finish the colorwork. And- I’m still in shock.  I can do this! It’s no where near as hard as I’d thought it would be.  Sure- it’s slower than straight knitting , but no more so than lace.

I have to say- one of the things I like about knitting- is facing a challenge- and conquering it.  Often-one challenge leads to another.  Next up for me?  The hat is too long- (actually an adult size pattern.  So, I’m faced with a big challenge.  To rip it all out- and start again… or- to CUT through some of that knitting at the bottom, pick up stitches around the brim.. and knit back down. (more…)

 Sami seems to be fine- (scroll down to yesterdays post for Sami info) She’s sleeping on the couch. 

I’ve been feverishly knitting away on a Christmas surprise- the perfect hat for my youngest-

 The pattern is by “Pumpkin Mama”   It’s called “We Call Him Spidey”  a 3 color stranded knit hat- with a Spiderman theme;) The hat is based on Hello Yarn’s chart/ pattern for the “We call them Pirates” Hat .

I’m knitting in Knitpicks “Wool of the Andes” in “Winter night” (blue) and “Coal” (black)   this is a stash dive project- (no yarn buying till after the 1st of the year) and the closest I could get for a red- was to double strand some brownsheep “Wildfoote” in Blood red. Guage is ok.  I think It will be a bit big….. but it’s fixable.

The needles are knitpicks US size 3 DPNS. I mucked up the bottom- so will be picking up and knitting down a corrugated rib brim after I finish the colorwork.

 I’m participating in PIF - via Ravelry- handknit goodies to the first three people to comment!  I am receiving goodies from T- At Blacksheep knitting guild!

I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange. I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days, that is my promise! The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

Also- (and totally unrealted to the PIF)

I write for a group written devotional blog- called “Laced With Grace”- please stop by and say “hey!”   Today is my day to post!  I posted an article- called “At the Altar of a Dirty Floor”….See you there!

This is our girl Sami- usually I have something ridiculous to say about her. 

Like: she ate my cracker barrel rocker, (well- ok- part of it) or, she licks the boys face as an appetizer to her dog food… or that when confronted that sharing with the dog could lead to germs— Noah responds “She doesn’t mind.”  Ridiculous stuff like that.

 Not tonight.  Tonight, I’m asking for prayers of our girl.  She had a rough evening.  Looks like she has a seizure.  This resulted in my turning into a puddle of crying goo- after trying to do a doggy heimlich maneuver- ’cause I thought she was choking…..then a frantic visit to the emergency clinic. She couldn’t stand- just flopped on my lap (all 30 lbs of her) on her side- and paddled her feet like she was running.  Breathing was “weird.”  Noah said she wasn’t blinking.  Neither was I.  And, I may have been holding my breath- too.  It lasted probably a couple of minutes.  VERY LONG MINUTES.  I think I prayed- I know I cried out Jesus name- asking without much in the way of words -for help.

By the time we located the number of the clinic- and had her leash- she jumped up to go to the door.  “Bye bye” is her favorite place;) I think that’s when I started to breathe better- myself.

The emergency vet said it may never happen again.  (We’re going for what’s behind THAT door- thank you very much) Or- it could start happening more often…. or once in a while.

I don’t remember ever having a pet have a seizure.  It’s a scary thing.  Fortunately, DH was home— but unfortunately so were all the kids.  At one point Noah asked if Sami was dying.  That’s what pushed the tears out of where ever I was holding them in at.

Everything is quiet now. Sami’s sleeping- I’m calm,(er) the kids are fine.  But- if you have a second- we’d appreciate prayers for our girl Sami.  Yeah- she’s a dog- and she’s even sometimes bad— but she’s ours.  And we love her to bits.

Matthew 10:29

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.

Dear Jesus- I know- she’s a dog- but she’s ours- God if you care for sparrows- and count the very hairs of our heads- then I gotta believe you care for our girl Sami- please help and heal her- please help us as we take care of her— and God?  Please help me not turn into a pile of goo- if this happens again… I love you Lord- and am glad that even when all I could do was cry your name- you were there. amen

Everyday-for a week at 3:00, Noah (the youngest) has been  dragging a kitchen chair into the livingroom, decorating it- using a pillow for a steering wheel and enjoying his new favorite show- “The Let’s Go Show.”

 Until yesterday.  When I broke my own Mom Rules,* along with his heart.

In a flurry of Christmas cleaning…. I pulled the “decorations” off the kitchen chair and tossed them into the trash without a thought.   At 2:58, I heard a broken hearted cry coming from the living-room.  “My art, my decowations!  They’re gone!”  (still a little speech issue) Tears slid down his face like winter sleet on a window.

This was not the “whiney, bratty” cry.  This wasn’t even the “I’m so mad at you, I could kick the dog” cry.  This, was the truely- broken hearted, cry. 

And, it was my fault.

In general- I have a Mom rule.*  (Oh- I have lot’s of Mom rules- but ,let’s focus:) One of my Mom rulesis-  to never throw out my kids stuff without their prior knowledge.  (I thought I’d already learned this Mom rule- the hard way.) I believe it’s better to have the fight up front, than to quietly avoid it and make it much worse later…

This time- I didn’t even think about it.

I just threw it out.  Why?  Because, I was cleaning house.  I was getting ready for the holidays.  (Yes- it takes this much) I was so focused cleaning- that I totally missed out on what was important to my little guy.  I COULD have just taken down the projects and tucked them into a folder.  I could have slipped them into the basket on the counter.  I could have hung them from any one of 50 magnets on the fridge- just for this purpose.  Instead.  I dumped them into the trash. 

Like I said- I was a good mother when I woke up- for about an hour.   Then, I got over it.

We had the “Mom’s make mistakes” talk.  (Again…sheesh we have that talk a lot) We got the crayons out and set up the printer.  Before the “Let’s Go Show” was over- a little heart was mending- and the kitchen chair was plastered with new creations. 

I knew I was forgiven when he climbed up on the couch, next to me to show me a new picture….made for me.  Tears popped into my eyes.  I swallowed.  HARD.  Then, smiled.

Being a Mom is like this some days- you wake up the best mom ever- an hour later you’re a witch and by dinner time- you’re the queen, again.   The Circle Of Mom.  You just gotta keep trying. If you fall down, get back up.  Color with the kid.  Say you’re sorry- then- move on.

 Dear Lord- I know- I know we’ve talked about this so many times before—- but-as we go through the holidays- please help me not break my kids hearts in the name of cleaning and craziness… I love you Lord- and definitely will need your help on this one— (and every one) amen.