North American Auto Show Charity Preview 101: from one who knows the woes…

 Formal Event?  Have to go?  Hate it?  Me too.  Let’s talk…Here’s what happens…

1) Dye roots so as not to expose the true age/ hair color of said exec’s wife.  (Although brilliant people will quickly figure out that our 20 year marriage leaves me well over 20) Also- search for a way to grow hair  10″ by the end of the week in order to achieve the grecian -goddess type style most desirable for this once a year event. (I only wish my hair was long one week a year- and this is it. Hmmm what to do… Wig? Hairpiece?  Or deal with it- and work the short- mom hair cut?.. Look for me, I’ll be the one working it;)

2) Attempt to lose 30 lbs in 100 hours. (So NOT, happening) which leads us to…

3) Purchase extreme underwear that will remind the breasts where they belong and will keep them there for the short-term.  Preferably something that will do double duty as a tummy/thigh eraser if possible.  (giving birth kids in three different decades seems to confuse the breasts as well as the brain… it apparently makes the run south to escape the chaos)  Preferably, said underwear will contain the steel undergirdment of a small city- go with that, it will also assure good posture- although diminished lung capacity could limit your activity.

4) Visit every local (or not so local)  store that carries formal wear, to search out the perfect gown.  Keep in mind that the perfect gown does not exist, and if it does- it looks like the one you wore last year and the one before that, ad nauseum.   FYI it will be Long (to cover cankles) black (always sooo slimming) and matte (we do NOT need a satin shiney hiney- trust me) jersey (a bit of stretch may make the difference between survival and death from asphyxiation)  with various necklines and accessories (some of which will be lost between the car and the door.)

5) Spend too much time compensating for your lack of creative choices in gowns, by searching for the perfect shoes.  They will be pointy, high heeled, over priced (but, ON SALE) and uncomfortable- quite possible hazardous. But hey- shoes fit.  They will however, take forever to find, leave you in pain but, and be beautiful.  Unforunately, no one will see them see # 4, above. (Bring comfy slippers for the ride home, you’ll need them.- and, if you’re really the pro-active type- go a head and schedule a podiatrist appointment for early next week- after traipsing around in 5 inch heels climbing in and out of cars and walking around downtown in the freezing cold….you’ll need it. But- your feet will be fabulous;)

6) Purchase yet another set of false eyelashes, (way long, black and crazy curled) which you will promptly rip off in the car on the drive home. (Hmmmmm… we recently got a new(er) car.. I hope a CSI investigator doesn’t buy the old one…. they may be intrigued by the eyelashes and broken fingernails left on the floor…

7) Schedule an appointment for fingernail torture session- I mean a fill or new set of acrylics….. they never break- but surely will do so on Friday- go ahead and schedule the fix now;)

8) Understand, that although decades past puberty, your body will manage to produce a pimple THIS WEEK, that could rival a senior-picture nightmare.  Stock up on clearasil (or better yet Retin-A) now. Worst case start a new trend- carry a  decorative fan.. this could help with the whole underwear induced lack of oxygen thing…

9) Consider a few tanning appointments, but, remember you live in Michigan, and, although slimming and offering a healthy glow… this ALWAYS looks lame unless you have actually been on a Carribean cruise  since Christmas. In the current economic climate  in Michigan…. If you have been, I probably wouldn’t admit to or draw attention to it…. you could be targeted for an executive stoning.

10) Unless you have a dramatic flair (why, thank you for noticing, yes, I do) Schedule an appointment with a drama coach to practice feigning interest and a knowledge-base in cars and the surrounding industry. (OK- this one I have covered- while not really caring about cars– Oh the tragedy—I do care about and have an interest in the automotive industry- because my man does;)

I know- I know- every year we go, (you can click every January’s archive for some ridiculous post in regards to the Auto Show) and every year I stress and complain.  It is rarely as bad as I think it will be… and, I have even sensed God in the middle of it reminding me of who I really am, and the opportunity to meet people I wouldn’t have otherwise…. all of which I’ve learned from, and enjoyed… but really— just once I’d like to not spring a pimple and be able to find a gorgeous (cheap) gown that fits and shoes that are HAWT but comfy….maybe next year I should send a letter to Santa Claus;)

 The truth is- this night isn’t about me.. it’s about being there for my hubby… and- since he’s my date.. it’s all good, well- except for the shoes… they HURT.

For something less whiney and more inspirational- You can click over to my post today at Laced With Grace-  the group devotional blog I also write for;)

 

Love at 19 years… of marriage

                                                                                                                                                 When I say “Love”- what do you think of? 

My first instinct is to think of elementary school Valentine’s day parties.   (No clue why) Which always reminds me of construction paper flowers, red and pink paper hearts and paper doilys.   I remember carrying home those Valentine treasures- struggling to hold my umbrella  to protect them from the rain and blowing my breath carefully and furiously to keep snowflakes from melting on the covers. 

I remember carefully written magic marker messages, dripping and streaking.  I remember rain drops making tie-dye patterns in my hard work.  I remember tears.  I remember them placed lovingly on the fridge- raindrops and all.   I remember elementary and parental Love.

I remember Jr High love.  The drama the pain.  The ridiculous thoughts and the stupid plans. I remember notes passed.  I remember check boxes:   “Do you like me?  Check here for “Yes”- check here for “No”….”  I remember insecurity… And I remember enjoying it all.

I remember love at 16 years old.  It was hearts and flowers and palpitations and REALLY bad poetry.  (Not just mine)  It was stolen kisses and planning dates.  It was going WAY out of my way between classes so I MIGHT get to see him….It was car dates and prom gowns.  It was wonderful. 

I remember love at 20 years old- it was getting ready for a wedding.  It was flowers and cake and planning and dreaming.  It was royal blue frosting up a nose on a honey moon drive.  It was a walk on the beach then listening to the ocean on our honeymoon bed.  It was wonderful.

I remember love at 21 years old- It was pregnancy and bedrest and struggles and laundry in piles…It was tears and fear and sharing them all.  It was day dreaming together of what kind of parents we’d be.  It was wonderful.

I remember love at 31.  It was wedding vows renewed.  Another gown, another cake….a (badly) sung song… it was our two son’s standing beside us- our friends gathered- it was wonderful.

I remember love at 33- it was a surprise pregnancy, that changed our family and grew our love for  each other.  It was shuttling middleschoolers and throwing up before breakfast- a washcloth handed to me to wipe my face.  It was hands held during appointments with genetic counselors, it was worshipping together and knowing God was with us.  It was wonderful.

Oh sure.  I remember wanting to kill each other.  I remember praying God would change each of us.  I remember consciously thinking… “God- I love him.. but I just don’t like him, please help me!”  I remember being convinced he was thinking the same.  I remember yesterday, when I yelled about laundry and mud left on the floor.  I remember the hurts I’ve caused, and the hurts I’ve felt.

To be honest- the love we have now- barely resembles what we had then.  It is as alike as a paper  Valentine and a beating heart.   A paper valentine is fragile and pretty- but doesn’t weather storms. It wilts- the words written on it seem to waver  when hit buy rain drops.  A paper Valentine is about impression and expression- it’s pretty and begins love…. but doesn’t endure.  

Now- I know love at 39.  After 19 years - our love is less Valentines day and more living beating heart.  It is sometimes bloody messy.  But it is beating - fast and furious.  When the pressure is on, and  the race is hard- this love beats harder.  This love becomes stronger in the training and struggle.  This love endures.  It doesn’t wilt, drip or run. 

 Sure- today- as we celebrate 19 years of marriage, there will be pretty cards with ink that runs.  There will be starry (somewhat wrinkled) eyes and nostalgic talk.  But more than that- in the background…. there will the constant beating of a real, live heart. 

Our love- no longer paper and doilys- but growing and living.  

 Happy Anniversary Honey- I love you- even more than I did.

 And yes- I’d marry you again.  And again. And again.

 Even if you’re a dufus and I’m a dork.

 

41 things About My Man. Happy Birthday Husband!

Happy Birthday!

1) His birthday: October 7, 1966

2) He asked me to “go with him” at 10:22 p.m May 22, 1985. On the phone.

3) He is the best Dad I have ever met.

4) He makes people laugh.

5) He is incredibly intelligent.

6) He is gifted in connecting with people.

7) He can cry in a manly way.

8) Watching him worship makes me want to worship God with more abandon. (Yeah- maybe I would if I wasn’t watchin my man;)

9) He’s got legs;)

10) He likes me. (Sometimes I truly wonder why!)

11) He likes his kids. (I don’t wonder why bout this one;)

12) He talks to me about his work….like I can understand it. (which helps me get it;)

13) He has a quick sense of humor. Lightening speed, actually. You never know when a zinger is coming.

14) He had spinal meningitis as a young child. (remembers the spinal tap… poor thing)

15) Has overcome incredible odds with God’s help.

16) Used to be afraid to fly. (Like, we drove to FLA on our honeymoon afraid) He’s not anymore. Can you say frequent flyer?

17) He’s a man of courage. (defined as: one who does not experience the absense of fear, but moves forward in it’s presense.)

18) He introduced me to Jesus.

19) He hunts deer. (mostly I still think “ewe” about that… but- it is a “man thing” and is an awesome opportunity for my guys to connect….and give me a bit of “quiet time” ;)

20) He likes our bad beagle…. but doesn’t admit it often.

21) He used to hate cats. He likes ours.

22) He is a man who can listen.

23) And talk. About anything.

24) He “bought” 2 robes from our honeymoon hotel…. (in Disney world.. for one night) he wore the original for 17 years.  Still has it’s threadbare self folded up in the hope chest with my wedding gown.

25) He married me twice. (renewed our vows)

26) He’s taken me to many of the countries on my “to visit before I croak” list.

27) He gets up early with my highschoolers. Sometimes makes them eggs for breakfast.

28) He’s the kind of guy who will go to the store at 10:00 p.m. for baked goods to calm a craving… whether you’re pregnant, or NOT.

29) He’s also the kind of guy who will buy you a present no huge reason- but if you’re pregnant- it might be a huge pink t-shirt with elephants on it. He will swear he thought they were bears. He will never buy you elephant themed paraphernalia whether you’re pregnant, or not.

30) Every year he’ll drive you to the airport at “too early o clock in the morning, so you can attend MOPS Convention… then he’ll return home to keep the kids and pets from killing each other and destroying the house for 5 days……

31) He will come to understand and even appreciate your “thing” for cameras and photography.

32) He won’t gripe about the additional “thing” for knitting… but may not understand it.

33) He love hand knit slippers. (fiber trends clogs…these make knitting acceptable)

34) He thinks I’m a hottie… even at 900 months pregnant with son #3.

35) He loves summer and a/c.

36) He loves home made potato soup and grilled cheese.

37) He is a classic meat n potatos kind of guy. (Don’t send him to the grocery store- he’ll arrive home with pounds of meat- but nothing to go with it;)

38) He can do a “walk-thru” of a computer problem via the phone- and even solve it.

39) He married me on: October 15, 1988.

40) He can think both “inside” and “outside” the box when needed.

41) He is the best, most loving, most fantabulous, incredible, men evah.

Happy Birthday Husband! I love you!