To go show preparationsEveryday-for a week at 3:00, Noah (the youngest) has been  dragging a kitchen chair into the livingroom, decorating it- using a pillow for a steering wheel and enjoying his new favorite show- “The Let’s Go Show.”

 Until yesterday.  When I broke my own Mom Rules,* along with his heart.

In a flurry of Christmas cleaning…. I pulled the “decorations” off the kitchen chair and tossed them into the trash without a thought.   At 2:58, I heard a broken hearted cry coming from the living-room.  “My art, my decowations!  They’re gone!”  (still a little speech issue) Tears slid down his face like winter sleet on a window.

This was not the “whiney, bratty” cry.  This wasn’t even the “I’m so mad at you, I could kick the dog” cry.  This, was the truely- broken hearted, cry. 

And, it was my fault.

In general- I have a Mom rule.*  (Oh- I have lot’s of Mom rules- but ,let’s focus:) One of my Mom rulesis-  to never throw out my kids stuff without their prior knowledge.  (I thought I’d already learned this Mom rule- the hard way.) I believe it’s better to have the fight up front, than to quietly avoid it and make it much worse later…

This time- I didn’t even think about it.

I just threw it out.  Why?  Because, I was cleaning house.  I was getting ready for the holidays.  (Yes- it takes this much) I was so focused cleaning- that I totally missed out on what was important to my little guy.  I COULD have just taken down the projects and tucked them into a folder.  I could have slipped them into the basket on the counter.  I could have hung them from any one of 50 magnets on the fridge- just for this purpose.  Instead.  I dumped them into the trash. 

Like I said- I was a good mother when I woke up- for about an hour.   Then, I got over it.

We had the “Mom’s make mistakes” talk.  (Again…sheesh we have that talk a lot) We got the crayons out and set up the printer.  Before the “Let’s Go Show” was over- a little heart was mending- and the kitchen chair was plastered with new creations. 

I knew I was forgiven when he climbed up on the couch, next to me to show me a new picture….made for me.  Tears popped into my eyes.  I swallowed.  HARD.  Then, smiled.

Being a Mom is like this some days- you wake up the best mom ever- an hour later you’re a witch and by dinner time- you’re the queen, again.   The Circle Of Mom.  You just gotta keep trying. If you fall down, get back up.  Color with the kid.  Say you’re sorry- then- move on.

 Dear Lord- I know- I know we’ve talked about this so many times before—- but-as we go through the holidays- please help me not break my kids hearts in the name of cleaning and craziness… I love you Lord- and definitely will need your help on this one— (and every one) amen.