T’was the week after Christmas and all through the house
The family’s stir crazy- gotta get outta this house!
The children were nestled, all snug with their games,While visions of gift cards danced in their heads;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
But, now, dangle limply, full of nothing, but air.
DH in his sweatpants, and I in my jams,
Had just settled down, for our tenth dinner of ham. (ham sandwiches, potato soup with ham, sweet potatoes with ham, scalloped potatoes with ham, grilled cheese with ham, ham with ham, split-pea soup with ham, scrambled eggs and ham, Christmas Frittata with ham till we finally started seeing, green eggs and ham!…..)
When from the other room, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the table to yell “what’s the matter?”
Away to the front room, I flew in a flashTore past empty boxes, and tripped on food, stashed
The Wii on the floor, glowed a luster of daylight to the trash near the door
When what, to my over-tired eyes should appear,
But kids fighting over the calendar- planning MY busy New Year!
With one little old driver, neither lively nor quick, I knew in a moment, better do something, quick! I called to the guys and asked for their dates…
More rapid than eagles activities they named,To be heard, (at all) I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Michael! now, Matthew! now, Noah and Kyle!
On Monday, On Tuesday, where to drive you all now?!
To the school, to the gamestore then right up the wall!
Now this away! Now that away! Which a-way all?!”
As tired mom’s, before breakdowns may cry,
When met with the calendar, once empty, now full.I wiped off my tears and added. each and every bill.
The look on my face must have scared them a bit-
It sent them all running, as I tried to make it all fit.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from upstairsThe cleaning of bedrooms, the vacumming of pet hairs
As I drew in a breath, and was turning around,Down the steps came the Daddy, with a bound.
He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with cat hair and soot,
A bundle of snowgear he had on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
I thought about slapping him, but then thought that was scary!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
His vacation 5 o’clock shadow, covered his chin.
The stump of a candycane he held in his teeth,
And dust from the snowgear encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad sled and a mitten, a bit musty ,
That he sniffed as he raised it- to assure it wasn’t fusty.
Then he shook it, to get clean it and found it a bit rusty.He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of my (hormonal) self;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And grabbed all the kiddos; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose, (I think it was aside- we won’t go there)
And giving a nod, to the suv they all rose;
He sprang to the driver door, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Period to the woman, and to all a good-night.”
(Ps- I hate the “have a happy period” commercials…they make me want to hurt people. Although they totally make the boys squirm, they are about the only thing that grosses them out. – which IS funny;)
We had a wonderful holiday, everything that needed to be done was, and what wasn’t, was promptly let go of. gifts were given and received with joy. Whew.
Now- we’ve now been socked in with snow. A nice reason to relax, if you ask me. We’re just goofing off today- as Mommy recovers her sanity after Christmas and hormones coincided this year (there really should be a rule against that- December should be declared- a period free-zone- just sayin) and she writes (tries to fit in) in all the (known) dates, events etc on the new calendar…. ;)
(my apologies to Clemente C Moore ;)