My feet left the side of the pool before my brain had a chance to tell them to: STOP. By the time my brain caught up, it was too late. SPLASH! (I was going for cannonball- but ended up with more of a butt-flop. Think belly-flop that went bad. Very bad.)
Then? I waited. And waited. And waited- for my feet to touch bottom.
For just a second, I wondered whether I’d fallen through a wormhole. “The bottom SHOULD be coming.. any time now.” I thought, as the pressure in my lungs built and they screamed for me to rise to the surface for a breath. Finally I felt the pebbly bottom of the pool and pushed off with all my might. When I broke through the surface I thought my worries were over. Until, I realized it wasn’t a wormhole. The pool was MUCH deeper, than I’d thought.
I was in 8 feet of water. I am 5″4.” (Without heels… I don’t even wear them in the pool.. I’m not THAT vain.) Do the math. It was a problem. Now- if I were a great swimmer- or at least hadn’t faked so many “monthly visitors” during high school gym class, that I can barely tread water… this would have been fine. But, it wasn’t. And, I had. (Really? Gym teachers need to get a clue. I mean- how many “visitors” can one teenage girl have in a semester? I think I had a lifetimes worth in that 60 days of swimming. Oops.) I was in trouble.
I resorted to doggy paddling. AKA: treading water. Eventually, with a little help from the wind and the skirt on my bathing suit acting as a sail.. I made it to the side of the pool.
Actually? I swam. And- I’ve been swimming ever since. (Not in a triathelete type way.. just in an “I can swim well enough not to look like I’m drowning.” kind of way.)
Thinking back- I’d been afraid to learn to swim. I stuck to the edges of the pool and the “shallow end.” I may have also faked enough laps to pass gym and graduate. (if you’re careful- you can make pushing off the bottom look like swimming.. it’s all in the arms. I’d tell you how- but then I’d have to kill you.. and that wouldn’t be ver Christian of me. So, I won’t. You’re welcome.)
I needed to be in over my head in order to learn.
This week has found me feeling that slightly panicked feeling of waiting for the bottom to touch my feet. I felt my lungs beg for air as I waited for some news.. and then- when the news came- I felt myself break through the surface only to realize I was once again, in over my head.
In about March, I was contacted about being nominated to Board of Directors for MOPS International. An organization I have been a part of for over 20 years. An organization I believe in and support with everything I have. Because Moms matter. Moms make a difference for generations. And because MOPS International has made a difference in my life. This weekend I was officailly confirmed as a member of the board.
I am in over my head. This is new to me. This is important. I don’t want to mess it up.
But God has been whispering to me the whole time.. “you are called for such a time as this….” “Being over your head is where you learn to swim.” “He who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it.”
All these words are keeping me afloat. I am treading water. I will learn to swim. This is where I’ll do it… here.. in the part of the pool that’s over my head.
Dear Lord- you know how passionate I am about families and especially mothers. You put the desire in my heart to be a part of MOPS and to serve you through MOPS, Please equip me for the calling you have given. Thank you for leading me and calling me to the Board. Lord- let me be a voice for our moms and lead well. I love and trust you- even in the deep end- amen.
I will continue my current role as MOPS International Community Networker, as I serve on the Board. I hope you’ll be praying for me as I learn and lead. Are you feeling like you’re in over your head? Maybe it’s not about drowning (or God trying to drown you.. which I’ve kind of wondered about, to be honest…) maybe it’s your time to learn to swim too… Post about your deep ends…(not your depends.. thats private.) and we’ll learn together! Where do you feel over your head? Home? Parenting? Job? Ministry?
Now- I’m off to learn about being on the Board of a non-profit! (I’m reading books… it’s my MO. )