I almost fell asleep on the way to pick up my youngest from school 2 days this week. If my tubes weren’t tied and my husband didn’t have Prostate cancer- I’d worry I was pregnant. I’m THAT tired. I also managed to erupt with a staph infection of biblical proportions. (Yup- I was THAT chick at urgent care this week… the one with a giant infection on her face… and toe. Fabulous.) I feel, over all: sick. My eyes are sticky, my mouth is dry. My body hurts. In short: I’m a mess.
I’d be asking: “What’s wrong with me?” if I didn’t already know the answer: I’m burning up on re-entry.
Re-entry after a week spent pouring it all out and soaking it all up at #MOMcon2013.
It’s not MOMcon’s fault. It’s MINE. I didn’t practice what I preach. (Also known as being a hypocrite… but lets not be quite that harsh. Also- Not what MOPS preaches… Oy. Adventures in missing the point- that could be the title of my autobiography. For sure.)
I did EVERYTHING. I didn’t take “down time.” Before- during or after. I kept thinking: it’s once a year. This is my chance to talk to as many Moms as I can. So I did. It was good. Really good.
Then- I came home and hit the ground running. Laundry? Check. Homework? Check. Follow-up? Check. Dinner? Check.
And then my body said: I’m done.
Bodies are funny like that. They can make you sick when you over do it. Probably as a method of self preservation. Let’s face it- i wear mine into the ground when I want to “get stuff done.” I’m guilty of thinking- (if not saying) “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Or- “When I finish my list.” Or, “I can do one more meeting.”
All of which sound good until it’s time to pick up the pieces. Which is what I’m doing today. Drinking lots of water. Taking time to be quiet. I almost mopped the floor- but apparently God made it invisible to protect me from myself. (Or I lost it- but the former sounds more reasonable… cause really- how DOES one LOSE a Mop?)
I have work to do. I also have: a choice.
I’m not doing it.
Why? Because sleeping when you’re dead is a bad plan. It gets you deader- faster. Burning up leads to burn out. Burnt out- not very good stewardship of my energy or life.
I’m not here for a sprint. I’m here for the marathon. It’s time to (again) put into practice the things I preach…. I’m putting on the oxygen mask so I can help others affix theirs. (I almost paid attention during the flight safety demo. Almost.)
And I’m bookmarking this page so i don’t do this again. (well- in theory.)
So…. how are you?
What things wear you out? How do you fill yourself up? Are you fried? Burning up on re-entry? From work? From an event? From mothering in general? From life?
I don’t regret a single moment of the time I spent with people last week. I actually WISH I could have connected with more……However- I also wish I would have rested in between- and worn more comfortable shoes. Justsayin. I hope God uses this confession of hypocrisy as an offering of brokenness…. Cause that’s all I got this week. ;) Lord- make something beautiful out of the dust of myself….
I’m a mess, how bout you?
Dear Lord- I’m a mess. please help me be wise with my resources- all of them- including ME. My body. Help me not to burn up on re-entry. and help my sisters….(and brothers) In Jesus name- amen.