6 days. From around 6 a.m. – until….well, when ever the heck I finally stopped. I nested. Everything in my heart said: “this will be our escape. Our place of peace. Where we’ll enjoy the grace that is living away from all the mess and stress that is life. ”
I made it beautiful. It was sold furnished- all I had to do was a surface makeover to make it ours. It’s As cute a tiny respite as I’ve ever dreamed of having. A dream come true. Our own little cottage on a lake.
I even have a desk. A real writing spot.
And this: I can’t even believe it…..
Just about the time I stopped furiously working- the wall of safety I thought I was building was once again hit by the wrecking ball of cancer. I did not want cancer to show its face here. Not here.
But, it did. Another bad report. More treatments ahead. More fear. More struggle. Lots of tears. Lots of prayers.
Cancer doesn’t respect boundaries. Cancer doesn’t take a vacation. It follows you and surrounds you wherever you are. Even here. In my favorite places ever.
As I was wallowing in the mess of emotion that is tied up in cancer I remembered a picture a dear friend sent me, this one:
This is how I feel right now. In our nest of peace trusting. But also- surrounded by thorns and cacti needles.
I’m choosing to trust the one who’s holding our little nest- even here. In a place I’d never choose to nest. Cancer. Stress. Fear. Pain. Living in this nest isn’t as safe or comfortable as other places we’ve nested. The thorns reach out to tear at us every time we move. They hurt. We heal.
We do the next thing. We take the next step. Over and over.
If you’re feeling the same, I pray you find rest and nourishment for your soul. The nest may be surrounded by thorns- but it’s still being held by one who loves you. Even there.
Here’s my prayer today:blessed be your name