Ugh. I hate it when my Iphone locks up. I press buttons and nothing happens… There is this moment of panic when (my addiction shows and) my fear takes over… “Is this it?  Is it dead?  Did I wreck it?  Did I kill the internets? What will I do without my phone?  How can I fix it????”

Usually it’s simple.  All it needs is a”Hard reset.” I press and hold two buttons at once (a feat of small motor controll before coffee- trust me.) and then the problem disappears with the appearance of the magical Apple that is the harbinger of electronic peace. The relief that Apple brings is remarkable… I feel like all is right in the world and I have lived to see another electronic day.

This morning, it wasn’t the iphone that was stuck. It was me.

I woke up before the alarm.  it should have been a great day.

Then I sat on the couch nursing a cup of coffee just a little too long before waking up the youngest.  “He can get ready fast…” I decided. besides.. I was enjoying the quiet before the storm.

At 7:45 I went to wake him up.

“One more minute”  Was all I heard from under his pillow where he was hiding from Bella, who was doing her best to “dig  him out” of bed.

Not good. One minute stretched to five.

I threatened. “You’re going to miss the bus.”

He finally got up. (At least he moved from the bed to the couch. )

His cereal was soggy before he made his way to the table, because he needed “One more minute.”

He also needed “One more minute” before putting on his clothes, his shoes and his hoodie and backpack.

By the time we left for the bus, I was gritting my teeth…and didn’t care that he hadn’t brushed his.

We missed the bus by… yup. About one minute.

My frustration poured out through my mouth like that bite of cereal you spit out when you taste that the milk’s gone sour. “I told you you’d miss the bus if you didn’t get moving. If this happens tomorrow,you are grounded. I’m not walking you in, you’re on your own.” (more…)

J.R.R. Tolkien once asked the question What if there existed a place called Middle Earth, and What if Middle Earth were under threat? Every good story begins with some form of this question, and so does every life.  by-Don Miller,  you can read the rest of the post here.

What if…..

The question has haunted me.  Or maybe, it is my answers that haunt me.

tracey solomon says:

  • What f I just submitted the book proposal and it got published?
  • What if my basement was clean?
  • What if I let go of my past and moved into my future?
  • What if I exercised instead of complaining about my size?
  • What if my dream, IS God’s plan??

To each of my “what if’s” I withheld an unspoken “what if”…a fear.

  • What if I submitted the book proposal and it never got published?  Would that mean I’m not supposed to write?
  • What if I left the basement messy?  What if I don’t really CARE about my messy basement? Does that make me a bad mom?
  • What if I don’t know what pain the future may hold, and am afraid to face it? I know the pain of the past.  It’s familiar, in a sick way-it’s almost comfortable. ( At least: it’s predictable. and I can visit it at will.:P)
  • What if  lost weight and became “visible” again?  (umm yeah, being a little “fluffy” makes a woman kind of invisible… it’s true. I am wonder woman with invisibility powers!- also women judge thin women harsher..imo.. it’s not fun. Yes. see? I have issues. )
  • What if my dream is NOT God’s plan?  What if I made the whole thing up and am actually, just crazy?  What if it IS.. and I can’t handle it?

What if.. I stopped thinking so far  ahead and just did the next thing.  What if I took one small step in the direction of a what if… and that led to the next and the next and I found the answers along the way?

What if I lived loved and lived the adventure of my “what ifs?”

You know what?  I think, I just did.

And now– here’s the “what if” of my heart….

What if women took risks to connect in honesty, truth, respect and love?  What if we did it regardless of background, differences, prejudices, fear and insecurity?  What if we did it anyway, and what if, one at a time, two at a time, ten thousand at a time…we changed the world????

Well.. I don’t know the answer to the what ifs… but I know I want to find out.

What are the “what if’s” of your heart?  What are the unspoken things that hold you back from taking a step in their direction?

You are not alone. We can face the what ifs- together.

What if our what if’s are meant to bring tension to our faith and  exercise it and change it from dead, to living as we test them with our actions?

18But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.

19You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

20You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless[d]? 21Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,”[e]and he was called God’s friend. 24You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.

25In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction?26As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

Edited because seriously- this is the next thing I read….apparently John Acuff is also haunting me… well- or God wants to be very clear today…if you have dreams and what ifs… please go watch this video.