“So…. can I run?” I asked hopefully.

“Well, you seem to be having trouble walking..” Replied the orthopedic specialist.

“But, I need to exercise.  I’m trying to lose weight. I just got into a good habit.. I don’t want to have to start all over.” I argued .

“There are other exercises you could do. Biking and swimming don’t result in  running injuries.” He countered. “You can do what you can tolerate. We’ll schedule an MRI, and go from there. It could be a stress fracture, internal knee derangement, tendonitis or pes bursitis. Wear the immobilizer or don’t, whatever feels better. Do you want a prescription for pain meds?” He offered.

“No, I should be fine. “ I replied. I was convinced the pain would be gone, soon.  I’ve had sprains and tendonitis before.  I can handle it.  I thought.

I was wrong. Very wrong. almost 2 weeks and an MRI later, the pain is no better.  I walk like zombie. I lurch and heave and swing and wobble.  Every step increases the pain.

I’ve been icing so much, I worry I’m turning into a popsicle. Or, maybe a blood-slushie.  I seriously feared for my life, when I went to see Eclipse.  (If any real vampires were there..a blood-slushie would have been nearly irresistible in this heat, I’m sure.) Apparently, the only vampires present were on-screen. I made it home safely.

I have purchased and tried every type of wrap/ brace I can find.  Nothing is helping.

If I sit just the right way, (which  involves pillows and elevation and just the right degree of bending…it’s a new yoga pose: The IfIdothisitdoesnthurtlikeabear pose. ) and don’t move… it is more comfortable. After a bit in this new pose,  I start to think: “Hmmm, maybe it’s getting better!” Then, I move and the pain crashes back in like a tsunami.

*Sigh.*

I am having trouble concentrating on writing projects. I’m having trouble doing the basic mom-stuff. This weekend was my son’s graduation party.. it was rough and painful and wonderful.  I am VERY thankful I had lots of help. I could NOT have pulled it off without it.  I’m having trouble keeping my sanity.

I’ve been obsessively researching the potential diagnosis.’  I’ve been obsessively reviewing my MRI. (I have it on CD and downloaded a viewer- yup- that really IS my leg in the pic.) Did you know you can see your fat on an MRI?  Gross.  My brain seems to be convinced that if I knew what was wrong, I could fix it.

My brain is confused. I’m not a doctor. Every time I read another article, I am convinced it’s something different. Every time I compare the MRI pics to those I find online… I change my mind, yet again. (Funny how radiologists and doctors go to school for years to learn to read those things.. But, I think a few hours of online research will equip me to diagnose myself…Am I the only one who does that?)

I’ve been wondering if I’m a hypochondriac. Between hurting my back, and the lame liver stuff I had last month and  this, I’m feeling like a wimpy-whiner.

I want my life back.

Once in a while, I pray.

I’m a little (maybe a lot) frustrated right now. To be honest, it’s a toss up who I’m angrier at- myself or God. Myself, because I have a bad feeling this is a nasty stress fracture and it’s my own fault for over doing the running thing… and God.. because, well.. because I believe he could heal me and isn’t.  It’s entirely possible he’s allowing this to teach me to listen to my body and not over-do.  It’s possible I’m hard headed.

Or- it’s possible there is no huge lesson in this.. and it’s simply something I just need to limp through.

One step at a time.

When I started writing “A Mile in Her Shoes” I hadn’t considered having to limp through some of those miles….But that’s for a chapter in the book, I suppose;)

Dear Lord– I don’t know what’s wrong with this stupid leg.  I do know that it’s hurting and making me crazy.  Please give the doctor wisdom  to treat it. I hate drugs Lord- you know that- so if he could put me in a splint that would relieve the pressure..and allow me to at least walk.. that would rock!  I’m worried about being able to function at MOPS Convention, and I’m worried that if I keep walking on it this bone will eventually snap right through. I’m impatient, Lord, and need to get ready for vacation this weekend. Please either heal me or help me wait… let me lean on you during this time of limping… I love you Lord– even if I’m frustrated with you right now- amen

* for the record-I am convinced I see a fracture in this MRI. and also for the record: I will be sickly thrilled if I HAVE diagnosed myself. I’m like that.

**** And now- just for fun. And because I have an essay in it… how bout we have a contest?  Who ever diagnoses my boo-boo, most accurately, including whatever the doc recommends for a treatment plan wins a copy of “Momology“.. we’ll call this a scientific application of the book….. ;P

options:

Group A (choose 1)

Stress Fracture

Pes Bursitis

Internal Derangement of the Knee

Tendonitis

Hypochondria

Some combination of the above.

Group B (choose 1)

cast

surgery

brace/splint

Physical therapy

suck it up you whiner- call a shrink.

leave your answer in the comments. I have my follow up Ortho appt Friday morning.  I’ll announce the winner then;)

I slammed the book shut. “Stupid..” “Irrelevant.” I mumbled.  Knowing, even as I spoke, that I was lying. I tried to blink the scene away, along with my tears.

I couldn’t. The truth is- the scene was more than relevant. It was my reality.

I hated it.

I was afraid. I was struggling to hold on and let go at the same time.

And here he was. Doing this.

“How could he do that?”  “What’s wrong with him?”

He was Abraham. I clutched my pregnant belly as I read how he had clutched a knife and raised it to kill his son. His perfect, healthy, answer to prayer and miraculous -son.

“as an offering.”

What if this was my sacrifice? I couldn’t let him go.  I held him tight, in my fear.  As if I could make everything all right by worrying.

Prenatal testing had showed potential problems.  Because of my history of threatening to miscarry, we opted out of more conclusive testing.  We decided to wait and see what God had for us.

The closer we got to my due date, the more panic and fear welled up in my heart.

Abraham wasn’t helping.

When I could no longer blink away the tears or keep the fear swallowed down.  It poured out in a flood: “Why did you do that to him?  How could he put his son on that altar?”

“He put him on my lap.“ Was the quiet response.

I felt my fearful grip slowly loosen.  In my heart, I lay him down.

On a lap.


The above 259 word essay is an entry in a contest posted By Mary DeMuth “wannabe published?”  If you would  like to enter this contest, click here! You could win a Kindle!

Cover shotShould I prolong the excitement?  Should I tantalize you with statistics?  (over 220 entries;) Should I dazzle you with pics?   what happens when I try to print out the entries--- someone swipes the oreo guts...

Or should I just announce the winner?

Drumroll please…..

 

oreo covered drawing judge....Congrats to Chezclutter!

                                                                           This is what happens while I                                                        do something… like print out 200+ entries…

 

Thanks to everyone for playing along and stopping by- I like to do a great giveaway about once a month-;) Check back and watch on Ravelry!

And- really- either buy the book/s or check them out at the library- (IF we want more books with patterns to fit- we better buy them up- let your dollars talk to the designers and publishers;) They are more than worth the investment- You will save money and time by knitting what works and FITS;) 

Don’t forget the Toronto Launch at Lettuce Knits- I’ll be there! Better yet- there will be cupcakes and THE SWEATERS for YOU to try on!!!!!

Details are at the Lettuce Knit site and on the knitty blog.  From the Knitty blog you can also click through to see the flickr stream of many of the sweaters on Knitters! Check it out- buy the book- cast on!  You’ll be glad you did!

What the heck- while you’re here… take a peek around;)

 

“Dear Clothing Designers, please get a clue”  Had nothing to do with the release of “More Big Girl Knits” .  But, it could have.  I now have copies of both BGK and MBGK.  The books are worth the price just for the shaping and pattern choice info alone! MBGK cover

Amy and Jillian offer candid information on how to make the most of your “B’s” (Belly, B ** Bs and B ** t) The designs are varied and flattering.  The sizing is good, and information on “doing the math” for an even better fit are easy to understand.  (Even for a math flunkee- such as me;) Many of the issues I complained about in the prior post- are specifically answered in the combination “library” of both books. 

There are hoodies that flatter without making you look like a football player.  Tanks that skim without showing every lump n bump (lovely lady or otherwise;) There are accessories that are proportional and stylish.  All in all- a great new book as well as a terrific set when you have both. 

I am in the “Netherworld” between plus sizes and misses… this book will help me fit my body but not look like a hag.  SCORE.  One of the biggest pluses to knitting- is the ability to produce truly custom fit designs. Custom fit clothes would otherwise be outside my budget;)

Now- If I could only knit faster….. And decide what to make first!

This weekend is busy, busy- I am helping host the MOPS International Leadership Summit for our area- so lots of little talks to finish up details to attend to and such.  Looking forward to a great and challenging day… I hope you attend if there is a Summit in your area- walk-up registrations are welcome! Yes- a Satellite Summit for Mothers.  AWESOME;)

Sunday- I’m planning on attending the More Big Girl Knits Book Launch at Threadbear in Lansing.  Jillian and Amy will be there- complete with cupcakes and the samples from the book;)  Can’t wait to try on and see what will work best for me! 

CONTEST: 

 In honor of the new book release- I’ll be giving away a copy here on the blog!  In order to enter- you’ll just need to either leave a comment on the blog or PM me on Ravelry (TraceyinMichigan) !  Good luck- contest will be open until April 17th at 12:00 p.m. Eastern Standard time:)

jay walker sock in keegan lane ballet slippers

I’ve been:

1) sick

2) recovering

3) playing nurse for everyone else who’s been sick.  (Everyone’s been so kind taking turns… aka stretching out this season of sickness for all it’s worth!  And- As I’ve taught my guys to share— they have been sharing liberally… good with snacks not so good with virus’ and bacteria. )

4) Celebrating the never ending birthday of my youngest.  (Somehow, this kids “birthday party” has cloned into parties….. one for one part of the family— another with friends, another with another part of the family……and the immediate family….. and so on… and so on…maybe its the birthday business making us sick????  PS- the yellow frosting on a McDonalds birthday cake is permanent… at least when it comes into contact with acrylic nails at 2:30 a.m. when I NEEDED some cake… caught yellow handed, I suppose!  Be forewarned:!)

The sickness thing is just annoying…. enough said.   And expensive… tissues… tissues… with lotion… tissues with anti-viral dots… decongestants… throat lozenges and GIANT bottles of Ibuprophen…..not to mention popsicles and chicken soup by the case.  

But- we’re recovering…. I think…. let’s just say— the amount of bleach and various sanitizing chemicals I’ve been using have effectively removed my fingerprints… I could now be a spy.  (Not really… but sheesh- I’ve been bleaching everything but the pets… and they are nedt on my list of carrier-suspects;)

 So- instead of flus, colds and strep— lets talk pretty yarn!

This past week I recieved an order from my favorite online shop- The Loopy Ewe.  In it, was carefully tucked,  3 beautiful skeins of a new (to me)  indie dyer- “Keegan Lane Yarns.” I purchased:  Shy Violet, Ballet Slippers and Milky Way.  Each handpainted skein comes with a pretty little matching (I love matching) stitch marker.  The colors are terrific- and the yarn is knitting up beautifully.  The twist on the yarn is smooth and even-getting  guage wasn’t a challenge at all. The dye work is lovely and it was well skeined- no knots or bad bits.  An A+ New dyer! I highly recommend.

The base yarn reminds me of Socks That Rock and Wollmeise— very nice.

US 1½ / 2.5 mm (I’m using Knit Picks Harmony DPN’s

Keegan Lane Yarns Ballet Slippers Toasty Sock

1 skeins = 420.0 yards (384.0m)

no purl mok=nkeys- froggedI started a pair of no-purl monkeys (based on Knitty’s original pattern.  I used Keegan Lane Yarn in the “Ballet Slippers” Colorway… but once I started knitting- I decided it was begging to be a pair of jaywalkers!  (The jaywalkers are in the pic above.)

In the end- I think it was worth ripping them back and starting again in the jaywalker pattern— just seems to make the most of the yarn and pattern!   However— I now must absolutely make a pair of no-purl monkeys in a more subtle colorway;)

 They are fast and simple and prettiful;)  Meets my sock knitting requirements!  If you can get your hands on a skein (or 5)  of Keegan Lane Yarns… I highly recommend it!  

 Today, I’ve posted a devotional at Laced With Grace called “Me, Version 2.0”  You’ll read about my most recent Windows Vista update… and how God’s been trying to update me- too;) (A little hint— I keep clicking “Update later” Sound familiar?) 

I hope you’ll pop over for a visit-  and read some of the other great posts at Laced With Grace- the girls writing there are just phenomenal!

 Also- today is the last day to enter for the Laced With Grace Contest– the prize is a wonderful 50% scholarship to the Proverbs 31 “She Speaks Conference.”   Make sure to leave a comment at LWG for one more chance to win!!!

Names have been collected and printed out…. Each name was carefully cut free from it’s paper trappings.  A worthy vessel was chosen to contain them. (My first colorwork- ” we call him spidey hat” :  see my projects in Ravelry (TraceyinMichigan) for the links;) I then searched hill and dale for the one who could draw out the sword…from the stone… (OK— so I asked Noah- who is also a Birthday Boy today! Happy Birthday, Noah!) To draw out one name… and he chose……..

Karen!  Congrat’s Karen! 

I’ll be e-mailing for your addy;) I’ll ship your pattern book ASAP!

drawing results

Thnx to everyone who left comments and PM’s at Ravelry— it’s been fun meeting so many knitters! Hope you’ll come back for a visit.  Also— Birthday Wishes for Noah-in the comments- will ensure another contest in the near future;)

giveawayJoann’s Etc..  You just never know what you’ll find.  This weekend I found a couple of copies of Paton’s Street Smart Booklet– which has been made both famous- and hard to find due to certain bloggers making the sweaters just so irresistible!  It contains the secrets of both the Urban Aran and Must Have Cardigan….. If you’re a knitter… you WANT this booklet. 

As a little thank you to all the knit bloggers/ravelry members that stop by- I’ll be giving away one copy!  All you need to do to enter, is leave a comment anywhere on my blog… Also— if you’re a Ravelry member— and can’t- don’t, won’t set up a wordpress account to comment— go ahead- PM me a comment about something on my blog…and I’ll enter you;) 

I am TraceyinMichigan on Ravelry;)

While my family is still sick– (poor hubby was down all weekend… ) I had a rather nice knitting content weekend.  (Not much else to do) Yesterday- I went to the Ann Arbor Library- to see— the Knitty Queen! Amy Singer.    Amy gave a terrific presentation on fiber alternatives to wool- based on her book- “No Sheep For You”

The presentation was both educational and delightful. Amy brought the swatches from the book- as well as a number of FO’s.   Yummy to touch;) Pretty to see. While I was there- I picked up a copy of the book co-written by the wonderful- Jillian Moreno“Big Girl Knits.”  I know- I know WAY late to this party— but I finally got it;) I read nearly the entire thing last night!  The patterns are brilliant- the writing was enjoyable AND informative.   This book will make it possible for me to knit things to fit, and flatter! ;) (There’s a thought;) Black Sheep Guild and Amy

“More Big Girl Knits” will be out in April— and I’ve already pre-ordered my copy. 

Here’s a pic of a delightful group- The Black Sheep Knitting Guild  .  They let me tag along for much of the day;) A great group- which I’m hoping to join….;)

While I was at the Library- there was much oooing and ahhing over my WIP- the Autumn Cardigan by Ruth Sorenson.  

Kauni Cardi progress shot

Here’s a close up shot of the corrugated ribbing… It’s rainbow- colors are amazing! I ordered the yarn online- at “Little Knits” .

I finished up the afternoon- at “The Blue Nile” in Ann Arbor- with “AsKatKnits”  and a friend of hers… crap— I can’t remember…her name…will link or fix- when someone reminds me.  Anyway- food was great (My first Ethiopian feast :) I had a lame moment where I nearly spit iced tea across the table… Tasted super strong…. Dad’s a recovering addict– so ummm I don’t temp fate by drinking alcohol  — I nearly spit.  (The gene pool in that area has a current I don’t want to try to swim against;) But—it wasn’t boozy after all… it was GINGER.  I win the dork crown;)  

You know- I would KILL my kids if they asked to go to some event they heard about online… with people they met online…. and then to dinner with people they met ONLINE…. but Knitters?  They’re a great bunch;) If there’s a knitting event near you— I’m telling you– GO.. Meet people….. Touch their knitting…. Talk…. Life is meant to be shared.  DO it. 

Here- YarnHarlots new book is coming out and she’ll be on tour— start with a Harlot Event- there’s bound to be someone you can connect with!   Ps– I think Harlot needs to start selling tour t-shirts…. with yarn and shop logos all over it— could be a fund raiser for Knitters Without Borders;) Just sayin’.

So- leave a comment- send a Ravelry PM….enter the contest…. you know you want to. 

one more pic;) Couldn't resist