1. The same boys who put WORMS in my refrigerator, (tucked into the back, and then forgotten) will find bras hanging to dry in the laundry room, disgusting.
  2. Boys know what mold tastes like. (I don’t want to know, how.)
  3. Boys think underwear is reversible for extended wear.
  4. To boys-socks that are “crunchy” but sitting on the table, are not dirty, they are being “aired out” and will be ready to wear by tomorrow morning.
  5. Boys that are the size of men, may be thrown into a pool. However, they will hurt their fathers later, for doing it. (The father won’t admit to being injured, but he will be.)
  6. Boys eat things after they’ve been on the floor… while mumbling something about a 20 second rule.
  7. For boys, punching actually can solve problems.
  8. Boys think that food is anything you can put in your mouth.
  9. For boys, clean has nothing to do with an absense of dirt. Clean has everything to do with reaching a limit of desired effort. (“It’s clean- cause I’m done cleaning it.”)
  10. Boys know they are not supposed to take glasses of “stuff” into their rooms.  However,they are compelled to use their “space” for experimentation.  Home penicillum production, is a favorite. It’s genetic.
  11. Boys believe that creating disgusting smells  should be an olympic sport.
  12. Boys may be tempted to write “can belch the alphabet” on their first job application, under “skills.”
  13. Boys think one pair of shorts a pair of underwear and 2 shirts is enough to pack for a weeks vacation. They don’t need socks, they’ll be barefoot. Need something to sleep in? That’s what the extra underwear are for.
  14. Boys use the area under their bed, for composting.
  15. Boys throw rocks, so do young men. and old men. They also skip rocks. They also try to BREAK rocks by throwing smaller rocks at big rocks. Don’t bother trying to understand. It’s just a fact. They must do it.
  16. Boys can remember every statistic for every player of every sport, but they will forget what you told them to do, as you are saying it.
  17. Boys do not know what they want, when going “back to school shopping.” However they do know what they do not want. Which is:  whatever Mom picks out.
  18. Boys will always laugh when someone passes gas.
  19. Boys will always laugh, when someone passes gas.
  20. Unless it’s Mom, then it’s “Disgusting”

Re-print- because 6 more weeks of winter requires giggles to survive….

I love my boys. I don’t understand them, but, I love ’em.