Here’s your shot. I need your help with my book project: Mommy Myth Busting. (working title- could change)

I’m collecting quotes from Moms about what it’s really like being YOU. What ever amazing unique kind of mom you are.

So tell me all about it!

Here is what I’m looking for:

1) What kind of mom are you? (Mommy-type- working mom, wahm, sahm, soccermom, hockey, of different culture, crunchie granola type mom, homeschool, public school, private school, young mom, old (er) mom, alternative mom, tatted mom, mom of multiples, lg family mom, small family mom, You tell me what kind of mom you are.  (Don’t like the list?  YOU tell me.  Please don’t feel you have limit yourself to ONE type, few of us are that narrow. Give me a list  you identify with. :)

If you want to take a few extra minutes- take this poll to help get you thinking:

2) What do you think people think it’s like to be your type of mom? What is it REALLY like?

3) Do you sometimes feel judged by other moms? What types of experiences have made you feel this way?

Your options:
You can post your replies here. (If you don’t mind them being public)
You can message me on Facebook.
You can leave a comment on my blog. (
You can email them to me:

Please share this note!

*** Disclaimer- please understand this is a project in process. I do not yet have a contract for this project. However- if you share something it may be used in the creation/planning or content.

Can’t wait to hear what you have to say!

Oh here I’ll go first:

I’m a white suburban, sahm, who also wahm , old mom who used to be a young mom, I have a 20 yr old, 17 yr old and 7 yr old. I’m 42. Currently public schooling, formerly homeschooling and private schooling type mom.

I’ve felt judged for being SAHM, and my schooling choices.

What’s it really like? You can read the blog- its all there:P
now- go it’s your turn!

Tell me all about it!

Or maybe an old journey is continuing.

I am happy to announce the launch of a new project:

A Mile in Her shoes

An opportunity to get real and get over the myths we believe about each other and ourselves.

Have you ever felt there was an invisible wall between you and another mom?   Especially a mom who is different than you? I have. I think those walls are built of myth.  Myths we believe about the mom who is different from us, and myths we think they believe about me.

Walls serve 2 purposes. 1) To keep something IN. 2) To keep others OUT.

What are we trying to keep IN?  What are we trying to keep OUT?

I keep wondering what would be different if the walls came down. Maybe war would break out. (oh wait, we already have the mommy wars..too late.) Maybe the mommy wars would END? Maybe we would unleash a common-unity that would be a force for change? Maybe we would be changed.

What if that is all that’s standing in the way of becoming a serious force for change in this world?  Walls built of myth.

If that’s it- then I hear a call: “Ms Mommy-Chev (with a nod to Ronald Reagan that blows the myth of  my being young:P) Tear down that wall!”

I’ve had some of my Mommy-Myths busted.  They have been busted by building bridges of authenticity and risk, instead of walls. They have been busted by being honest about what I’ve assumed (not  fun) and taking time to get to know the truth about a mom who is different from me, and letting her get to know the truth about me.

This project is also about learning to embrace and love our differences.  Some of the things we believe about each other are TRUE and HILARIOUS.  I look forward to confirming and affirming those truths and laughing at myself as I do.

This project is about having the rest of my Mommy Myths Busted, and in sharing those experiences, helping you bust your myths too. I want to create a space for conversation.  I want to hear and understand the myths YOU believe, and how you’ve had them busted.

I want to spend time walking in the shoes of other moms and listening to other moms.  Moms who are different form me. I want to learn the truth about things I’ve assumed.

Some of this will be accomplished through listening.

1) I’ve be created a blog to continue this journey and conversation.

2)I’ll be posting surveys to give you opportunities to anonymously share your experiences.

3) I’ll be reading your emails and comments and incorporating them into my experience. I hope you’ll share both your Myths and the ways you’ve experienced the prejudices of others based on myths they believe about you. Send them to me!  mommymythbusting (at symbol)

4) I’ll be reaching out to get to know moms who are different than me. (it’s not hard- I’m a boring, white, suburban, middle class, stay at home mom. Hello- mommy-type, I am she.)  Want to find out If I’ve really sold my soul in exchange for suburban living? Want to know if SAHM’s really eat bon bons all day and watch soaps?  Want to know if I really think all goth moms drink blood? Stick around. We’re gonna get real.

Some of this will be accomplished though social experimentation.

I will be “trying on” and joining some of our most common” mommy-types.”  I’ll be journaling about the experience. Both from the perspective of  the “Different mom” and in learning about the micro-culture that she inhabits.

What will this look like? Maybe I’ll be goth mom for a while, or soccer mom, or glam mom or trailer park mom..I don’t know.. I’m open to whatever.  (Although, My mom has already weighed in with a “NOTHING permanent” request.. bummer-I’ve been known to be a rebel. :)

YOU can help right now- I know I have an eclectic blog readership.  I’d be honored if you’d take my first survey and share it with others. Do you HAVE to be a mom? Well- actually- no. Truth is many of these issues are just plain woman issues.  Some know I’m a Christian and may be wondering if I’m just talking to “Christian” moms.  The answer is NO. I think some of our deepest myths and highest walls are built around our spirituality.  It’s time to bust those too.

Go ahead- take the survey- help me change a culture of women!

Honestly- I’m scared to death. But, I’m more afraid to continue living within walls. What if all we need God has given us in each other?  What if we really ARE created to be a body– each part doing its own unique job?  what would happen if we DID?

I hope you’ll join me on this journey.  Where ever it may lead. (I feel  a little Gene Wilder in that psychedelic boat scene that gave me nightmares in Willie Wonka and the chocolate factory…I dont know where were going…”

It’s not just the fairy tales we read to our children that are full of myth.  It’s our perceptions of each other.  Not so much a problem in fairy tales, but a big problem in Mom-life.  he myths we believe about ourselves and each other build walls between us.  The walls are made of the assumption that we don’t need to get to know someone different, because we think we already DO know them., based on what we assume from the tiny bit we see.

Here’s the thing: In my 20 years of mothering and working with mothers as a pastoral counselor and MOPS leader,  I’ve learned this… I don’t always recognize the myths I believe, until I meet a mom who blows them away.

My goal: To use humor and truth to create a project that can BUST the Mommy Myths we believe.

My Premise:

These myths cause us to judge and criticize each other without bothering to find out the truth about each other. They divide us into false categories and make us hurt each other with words and actions. These myths hurt us individually and corporately as a mothering community.

What would happen if moms could get past the assumptions, prejudices and myths we believe about each other and learn to respect and appreciate each other?  I have a feeling we could change the world. The hand that rocks the cradle truly DOES rule the world. I am on a mission to help moms rock the world TOGETHER.

Will you help?

I am looking for the top ten (maybe 20) myths we believe about each other as moms. I also need to define them and confront them.  This isn’t about hating on each other for holding these myths.. it’s about smacking down the myths with a foundational truth- we are mothers, regardless of our style, background and choices.

Below is a list to start you thinking. I’ll be adding to it as we go. Please either post your thoughts about other archetypes we hold as mothers and the myths we believe about them… ie SAHM’s sit around in their jammies and eat bon-bns all day) in the comments- or email them to me- at soltrcy at aol DoT CoM (you’ll need to format the addy correctly but you get the jist) You can also Tweet your ideas to me- follow @traceysolomon or you can add to the conversation on my facebook page. All emailed and twittered myths will be kept confidential unless you state otherwise. (Some of these myths are more volatile than others)

I appreciate your input,  authenticity and prayers as I work on this project! Let’s bust some Mommy Myths!

PLEASE be sure to click the MORE button at the bottom of this post- the rest of the list we’ve started is there. :)

SAHM-  Stay at home moms- moms who don’t work outside the home for a paycheck.

Working Moms- Moms who work outside (or inside the home) for a paycheck.

Welfare Moms- Moms struggling financially and on assistance of some sort.

Well off Moms- Moms for whom budget issues are less intrusive to daily life. (hard to define)

Home School Mom- A mom who educates her child at home.

Public School Moms-