I was that girl in high school. You know. The sweaty one. It’s true- I weathered that perfect storm of pubescent hormones and anxiety that left me with sweat swirls under my pits the size of a gulf coast hurricane.  I wasn’t just sweaty when I ran cross country….I was sweaty everywhere: in  math class, the hallway and everywhere. I was a tall banged (it was the eighties ) walking talking  humidifier. I could have grown tropical plants in there. Just sayin.

I tried everything:

  • Rolling up my sleeves and shoving them into my pits to act as pit guards.
  • Layering  my roll-on deodorant/antiperspirant and drying between the layers with my hairdryer.
  • Antiperspirant so strong, it burned my poor pits to bits. (I still burn with pit-felt hate for: Mitchum antiperspirant- I’m allergic- hence the burning pits of doom..)
  • Thinking “dry.”
  • Multiple showers a day. (yeah… more water-that will dry me out.)
  • de stressing techniques. (Which just stressed me out and made me sweat more. )

Nothing worked. In desperation, I resorted to keeping may arms clamped to my sides. (A great way to make them: more sweaty. Grand.) I did not raise my hand for 3 years. (I talked in class- of course- I was just the rude-sweaty girl who didn’t raise her hand.. When I absolutely HAD to-I raised it from the elbow to wrist… teachers had to really look to see my hand are ear level.)

Eventually, hormones and life settled down, and I outgrew my sweatyness. But- the shame and embarrassment lived on. I took the term: “never let them see you sweat” to whole new levels. I over compensated and tried to portray a cool calm an collected appearance- at all times. I determined never to be that sweaty chick again. And just to be sure?  I kept people at arms length- in case I did get a bit moist… no one would be close enough to know.

And then I became a mother. I got involved in a MOPS group. I became a leader. I had to stand up and talk in front of groups of women. I figured i’d be ok…after all- I was past my sweaty phase. I had it all together, now, didn’t I?  No one would ever see me sweat, again. I wouldn’t let that happen. All they would see is the put-together me. The cool one. (more…)