It’s not just the fairy tales we read to our children that are full of myth.  It’s our perceptions of each other.  Not so much a problem in fairy tales, but a big problem in Mom-life.  he myths we believe about ourselves and each other build walls between us.  The walls are made of the assumption that we don’t need to get to know someone different, because we think we already DO know them., based on what we assume from the tiny bit we see.

Here’s the thing: In my 20 years of mothering and working with mothers as a pastoral counselor and MOPS leader,  I’ve learned this… I don’t always recognize the myths I believe, until I meet a mom who blows them away.

My goal: To use humor and truth to create a project that can BUST the Mommy Myths we believe.

My Premise:

These myths cause us to judge and criticize each other without bothering to find out the truth about each other. They divide us into false categories and make us hurt each other with words and actions. These myths hurt us individually and corporately as a mothering community.

What would happen if moms could get past the assumptions, prejudices and myths we believe about each other and learn to respect and appreciate each other?  I have a feeling we could change the world. The hand that rocks the cradle truly DOES rule the world. I am on a mission to help moms rock the world TOGETHER.

Will you help?

I am looking for the top ten (maybe 20) myths we believe about each other as moms. I also need to define them and confront them.  This isn’t about hating on each other for holding these myths.. it’s about smacking down the myths with a foundational truth- we are mothers, regardless of our style, background and choices.

Below is a list to start you thinking. I’ll be adding to it as we go. Please either post your thoughts about other archetypes we hold as mothers and the myths we believe about them… ie SAHM’s sit around in their jammies and eat bon-bns all day) in the comments- or email them to me- at soltrcy at aol DoT CoM (you’ll need to format the addy correctly but you get the jist) You can also Tweet your ideas to me- follow @traceysolomon or you can add to the conversation on my facebook page. All emailed and twittered myths will be kept confidential unless you state otherwise. (Some of these myths are more volatile than others)

I appreciate your input,  authenticity and prayers as I work on this project! Let’s bust some Mommy Myths!

PLEASE be sure to click the MORE button at the bottom of this post- the rest of the list we’ve started is there. :)

SAHM-  Stay at home moms- moms who don’t work outside the home for a paycheck.

Working Moms- Moms who work outside (or inside the home) for a paycheck.

Welfare Moms- Moms struggling financially and on assistance of some sort.

Well off Moms- Moms for whom budget issues are less intrusive to daily life. (hard to define)

Home School Mom- A mom who educates her child at home.

Public School Moms-

(more…)

046The Great Dandelion Drama, begins early each Spring.  It starts with the arrival of a single, leafy, sunny faced, little visitor.  A visitor who is quickly plucked by the root, from it’s new home in our suburban lawn. So the battle begins.  We do not allow dandelions in the suburbs.  They are a sign of imperfection., a blight, a weed.

What may be a harbinger of Spring and wildflower of the summer to some, is here considered a lawn cancer.  Upon their arrival, they are assaulted with a chemo-like cocktail of chemicals. Dandelions are as contagious and dangerous as the Swine flu, if lawn masks were available, every lawn would wear one.

Totally oblivious to the angst they create, those smiling yellow faces, peer out  from between the deep green blades of grass.  Like a solicitor at dinner time, they have no idea how un-welcome they are.  The dandelions are simply doing what God designed, they are living and growing and filling their space with brilliant yellow blooms. 

While driving the other day, I experienced what happens when Dandelions are left un plucked and un tamed.  I gasped at the beauty of a field aglow in yellow.  It was breathtaking.  What I daily saw as a weed, had been instantly transformed into beauty.  I smiled. I stopped the car.  I stepped out into the soggy field and took picture after picture,  trying to capture the depth  of the beauty that I saw.

One dandelion is a weed, but a field of dandelions is beautiful.

Sometimes, I feel like a dandelion.  I am out of place. I don’t belong.  I am messy. I am known for being late.  My house is messy.  I talk too loud and too fast. In a church culture that often values the quiet, background kind of woman, I am an upfront, speaking and sharing, kind of girl.  I have imperfect kids and an imperfect marriage.  I have a temper.  My roots show white in the middle of my deep auburn hair.  I can never get my face totally cleared up, there is always one pimple somewhere, mocking me.  I joke that the National Weather Service should send out a warning to local counties when my hormonal storms arise. (I joke- but am convinced that lives could be saved if they actually did issue warnings.) I am prone to depression and anxiety.  I eat too much and drink too much caffeine.  I struggle, both with pride and with feeling insecure.  I am afraid to try things, because I’m afraid I’ll fail. 

In short- if the world were a manicured suburban lawn, I’d be a dandelion.  

Looking at that field, I thought of all the women I’ve known  and how they’ve shared their own dandelion feelings.   Each one,  imperfect, messy and fallible.  I thought about how each one has also, taken her place in the field, being and doing the things that God has created her to do..I smiled.  Together-I know we are just as beautiful as a field of dandelions, to Him.

Dear Lord- help me to take my place in the field, help me to see the beauty in each woman around me, and to stop judging based on the perfection of her “lawn.”  help me to encourage her with the beauty you’ve created in her imperfection.  God- when I feel like a dandelion, I pray that you’ll remind me how beautiful dandelions can be- together,each one taking her place to  fill a field. I love you lord- amen.

Today join me in reading .. and finding out how God can use each of us…