Aloha! A Piece of my heart is in San Francisco..

Quiet around here lately, huh?  I know I know.. but I’ve been busy. Here are the highlights…

1) we had to pack for 5 to go on vacay to San Francisco and then Hawaii! (umm yes- I know what a dream come true!)

2) San Fransisco is amazing! Beautiful, fun, interesting people and has EVERYTHING. (good bye, Ghiradelli Square.. I miss you already.)

3) we have eaten our fill of crab.. fyi.

4) Today, we head to Hawaii!

If you’re interested in instant trip updates- and pics…you can follow me on twitter!

Hmmmm… Everything that came out of my suitcase when I arrived in San Fransisco MUST fit back in.. at least theoretically..right?

a few pics to tide you over:

 

A tea cups worth of dignity….

When the caller ID showed the number– I knew something was wrong.   I was right.  My grandmother was in the hospital.. and it was the “you need to come visit now,” kind of call.

I didn’t know what to do, so I did what I could, and what i always do.  I made a care pkg of love.

This weekend- I had tried my hand at making jam. It had actually turned out, so I thought I’d bring some up to her.  My grandmother ALWAYS made home made jam in the summer.  It is part of our family story. I remember prying out the carefully poured parafin to find an amazing elixir of liquid summer.  I can feel the cool jelly jar in my had even now and taste the sweet-tar fruit on toast with butter.   My grandmother was born in Wales, so I added fresh scones and clotted cream, along with a box of tea bags to the little care package.  Tea time is a daily tradition and is something we’ve  always enjoyed together.  All I could think- was grandma needs tea, and hospital tea won’t do.  Packing up tea was something I could DO to help.

We made the drive to the hospital in quiet.  When we arrived, we  had to look hard to find the outline of her tiny frail body in the hospital bed. She had trouble speaking, but tears came to her eyes when she saw me.  I smiled.  It was worse than I’d thought.

I did not know is that she hadn’t eaten in days, and that scones would be out of the question.  Still, I wondered if a bit of jam and cream would be good.  I asked the nurse and with her  approval..I asked grandma if she wanted a taste. I offered her a bit of jam and cream on a spoon,  Grandma nodded her regal approval.  .  That was enough.

My grandmother’s mouth and throat are parched from dehydration and diminished use. Every swallow is obviously painful, a sponge to wet her mouth has been on the bedside. But honestly- it just didn’t seem right. Her regalness- sucking a sponge was wrong, and while compassionate care.. it wasn’t what she needed to improve.

The idea that grandma needed tea, would not leave my mind.  Tea, makes everything bearable, if not better. Our family has had pots of tea during wakes, during wedding planning, on lazy afternoons and after every holiday meal..(even the fourth of July.)  the kettle has NEVER been anywhere other than the stove top. Like the  Rock of Gibraltar, it doesn’t move. I decided to try to get her to take a bit the next day.

Shortly after arriving,  I asked if she wanted a bit of tea. “That would be wonderful” . Was her answer.  It was more words in a row than we’d heard in days. I grinned. “YOU got it grandma.”  I was quickly reminded of this:   My Grandmother doesn’t drink tea through a straw, nor from a styrofoam cup.  ”That would be disgusting”  grandma would say.

Standing in the hospital room, I longed for the kettle. I longed for the teapot and limoges cups she’d served me from.  I wracked my brain for how to accomplish tea in this place. The gift shop held the answer. a pretty blue china cup. I washed it in the bathroom and ran back to grandma’s room.

With warm water from the cafeteria, we brewed up a fresh cuppa.  My aunt raised it to her parched lips.  Grandma wanted more. A few minutes later.. she COMPLAINED. It wasn’t hot enough.  We laughed. “We don’t want to burn you!” Grandma reprimanded: “Don’t be ridiculous.”  We promised the next cup would be warmer.

And it was.

Something shifted in Grandma with those cups of tea.  A spark of herself ignited.  It couldn’t have been caffeine.  It was decaf.. It was a spark of her dignity.

Dignity is an even more fragile thing than my grandmother. (She tips the scale at a childs weight.) My grandmother is a proud and proper woman, dignity is her MO. Being bedridden and immobile is a type of hell for her. She cannot care for herself, she cries when “certain  of her needs”  require the help of others. Those china cups of tea helped make her feel like herself.

I don’t know what the future holds for my grandmother.  We know that at nearly 90, time is short.  Her prognosis is guarded at best.  But I know this.. a tea cups worth of dignity can make a difference in this moment.

I hope that today- if you’re confronted with an overwhelming situation- one that leaves you feeling like there’s nothing you can do,  that you will do what you can. Sometimes just being there is enough.  Sometimes a  smile.. or an  offered  cup of cold water- or a hot tea.  There is something.. however small that you can do to make a difference in this moment, for someone.  Do it.

 

Lost my luggage, on the way to the land of “Mom”

Repost: My grandmother is in  the hospital.. so things are pretty crazy here- thought I’d post an old favortite post- enjoy!

I picked my outfits carefully.  I matched shoes with bags.  I researched, and learned the language of the country I was planning to move to.  My guidebooks and insider tip books were dog-eared, underlined and packed to go.  I had learned the history and political environment of my new homeland.  I packed the tools necessary for my survival and comfort.  Everything ready, I counted down to my departure.

Excited, nervous and a little nauseaus, I boarded my (very bumpy flight) and made it to my destination.  Exhausted, I waited at baggage check.  All I wanted was to get settled in.

Around and around the luggage carrier went- I saw all kinds of luggage passing me by…. suitcases that looked like mine, but weren’t.  Duffles like those I’d left at home…But not mine.  I stood there long after the last bag was gone. Watching.

Normally- I can roll with most punches.  My view is- whatever I forget or lose in travel- can be bought/replaced on arrival.  (However-I’ll tell you about trying to find a strapless bra in Germany.  Let’s just say, I don’t speak much German, but now know:   bra= busten halter. )

But this wasn’t just any trip.  This was my voyage to Motherhood.  Not a vacation- but a serious life move.  And when I arrived?  All that packing and preparing?  Somehow it didn’t arrive when I did.  After a bumpy pregnancy, I arrived at motherhood exhausted, travel worn and completely unprepared.  Like a traveler who packed “heavy” only to find her luggage lost- I was in trouble.

Yes, I’d read the books. (just about all of them, I swear!) I even had experience with children.  But none of it prepared me for motherhood.  The “insider guides” (all those Mom written and full of wisdom books)  left out so much.  The “language in 30 minutes a day” (books by professionals who gave me opposing advice in every book) …..well- they didn’t cover the universal baby language of crying.   (Mine or the babies;)

Luckily- I was met by a welcome wagon.  New to the “mothering neighborhood” I found a group- MOPS International, that helped me fill my new life with the skills, tools and support I needed.  Nobody had all the answers… (I was in the minority of those who thought they did;) But together— we figured it out, got through it and grew.  Meeting after meeting…year after year… speaker after speaker, convention after convention… slowly my lost suitcase full of preparations was more than replaced.  It even started overflowing.  I still don’t have all the answers,  (Still think I do sometimes… but my kids are quick to point out the truth.) butI’m not totally unprepared anymore.

Even when change comes- I know I’ll have help. Like for the next phase of mothering I’m quickly entering, the “emptier nest phase” as my older two sons get ready for college and *Gulp* beyond.    I’ve found there are always other women who’ve been there- done that- and now proudly wear the t-shirt and are ready to help the next Mom survive!

I’ve never been here before— but other moms have. And- at MOPS….I know I’ll be able to pull on them for support through this too!

If you’re a mom- and feel like your luggage didn’t arrive at mothering when you did….. you’re not alone.  You’re welcome to come to MOPS, grab a cup of coffee (or tea or juice) , a little encouragement and a bit of suitcase re-packing;)

(MOPS is an International Support group for Mothers of Preschoolers… please stop by the website and find a local group to be involved with!)

 

Mommy Manifest:

I’m working on a Mommy Manifest….. a list of clearly defined goals and values that I hold for Mothering. Iif you had a Mommy Manifest, what would it include?  Leave your ideas in the comments!

I will parent my children without criticizing the parenting choices of others…

I will parent each of my children uniquely, respecting the design that God has for them and their life.

I will trust that “being there” matters in my child’s life… even when they give me “that” look.

I will remember my children are not my report card, score card or trophy, but a gift to be cherished, appreciated and nurtured.

I will respect the unique design and plan that God has for other mothers and learn to appreciate the differences between us.

I will learn to balance holding on and letting go.  Using each one where it  fits.

I will let my children learn from their mistakes.  I will not rescue them from every consequence.

I will do my best not to gag when someone suggests my kid is going through a “phase” It’s probably true. We’ll survive.

I will trust that consistency produces results.. I will not continuously amp up my discipline in an attempt to force changes.

I will value and listen to the input of others  about my mothering, I will in turn, offer my input when asked  to.

I will listen and respect input from other mothers of all ages- I can learn from each one, older and younger.

I will learn to balance caring for myself and caring for my children, it will save our sanity.

I will encourage my kids to allow other safe adults to speak into their lives, even if it makes me feel threatened.

I will remember how fast time slips by and value each day- regardless of what it holds.It will all become our history.

I will dance with my children at the grocery store…memorable moments cannot be sacrificed to appearances.

I will live an authentic faith before my children, allowing them to see struggles and doubts as well as peace and beauty.

I will maintain supportive adult relationships, allowing my children to see my interdependance, so they will develop theirs.

 

Take a Mothering Survey- and WIN!

Are you a mom? Then we need your input! Take this survey- and you could win a Starbucks Gift Card!

I took it- and thought the questions were thought provoking. Interesting survey- not another “what state should I live in quiz” :) !

Mmmmmm… now I want a mocha!

 

Help stop puppy mills, do the right thing.

all we wanted was to add a healthy pet to our family. What we got has been a mixed bag of heartache, fear and love

I should have known better. I asked the question while we were visiting at the store: “You don’t use puppy mills, right?”   “I wouldn’t work at a place that gets puppies from puppy mills” was the pet counselors confident answer.  She believed what she was saying, but sadly, it looks like she didn’t know the truth.

After a lot of discussion, research and consideration, we’ve decided to file complaints against Petland and the breeder involved in Bella’s purchase.  The broker information is not documented, or the broker would have also been added to the complaints.   Complaints have been filed with the BBB, USDA, Attorney General’s of both Michigan and Iowa (Bella came from Iowa), Petland Corp. and HSUA.

This decision has been difficult.  I value people and their livelihood,  I respect the right to choose one’s line of business and to profit from it.  However- making a profit by misleading and harming others can’t be ignored, a business with a poor record of integrity is not to be encouraged, and supported, but confronted.  We were misled about Bella’s breeding conditions.  We were told that Petland uses breeders that they know and trust.  After problems arose- we were told Bella had been bought with the store and they didn’t know who had brokered her.

After asking further questions,  raising our concerns, and sharing the information we gathered from our research into the breeder, the Petland owner said he’d add them to the “do not buy list”.   Adding the information to a do not buy list after the fact, is not doing due diligence in evaluating the breeders and protecting pets and families.   By then?  It is too late. The damage has been done.  Our situation  did not need to happen. Petland needs to either stop selling puppies- OR  use breeders that they investigate and can stand behind, as they say they do, anything else is a misrepresentation.

Our experience adding Bella to our family has been extremely difficult, expensive and frightening.  It has opened our eyes to the reality of puppy mill breeding and it’s effects.

Bella is still sick, and we may have other challenges to face in regards to her long term health, but we’ll face them together. I only wish the dogs left behind at the puppymills had such love and luck.

If you have been touched by Bella’s story or have had a puppymill rescue or experience.. I encourage you to not accept this as a good business practice.  I encourage you to do what you can- to help other pets and families not experience what we have.

For more information on puppy mills and what you can do to stop them.. click-  here.

To read more about Bella’s sickness and recovery- scroll back through the posts on the blog.

thnx:)

 

Is Bella a Puppy mill pooch? We may never know.

Edited  Tuesday June 9 , 8:00 am Bella is showing symptoms of an Upper respiratory illness in addition to Giardia.  She is returning to the vet this afternoon, for further treatment.

Edited 6/10/09: Bella was diganosed with an Upper respiratory infection and is on an antibiotic in addition to the other meds. She is improving daily.

Edited 6/15/09 – Diagnosis of URI:  Kennel cough.  Still coughing and sneezing.

On June 1, 2009,  my family excitedly brought home a “Shorkie” pup from Petland, Novi, Michigan. By Thursday evening she was admitted to the emergency clinic. The Petland affiliate vet diagnosed her with Giardia and recommended her admittance for IV treatment due to symptoms from the Giardia and subsequent hypoglycemia.

“Bella” was transferred to the vet for care on Friday and stayed on the IV until Saturday afternoon, at which point she was still not eating. We were given the choice to either bring her home and force feed or transfer her back to the emergency clinic for continued IV, with the understanding that we may need to take her in if she did not begin to eat on her own or deteriorated in any other way.

Fortunately, Bella has improved greatly, but this experience led us to further investigate her breeding conditons. We had specifically asked about puppy mills and were assured that Petland, Novi does NOT buy puppies from puppy mills.

We asked for and rec’d a listing for the breeder from Petland, the phone #was incorrect, but the address was correct and we were able to find the correct phone # via the internet. On contacting the breeder, we found the following:

1) She confirmed that she has 50+ adult dogs (not including puppies, the last USDA report showed 50+ adults and 82 puppies) and only herself and 2 teenaged sons to care for them.

2) When told that we were experiencing issues with one of her pups she became defensive and said she was “not going to pay for anything” (we hadn’t asked her to- nor were we going to.)

3) When asked to send a photo of the dame and sire (so we could be assured of their health and breed) she refused.

4) When told what kind of issues Bella was sick with (again- Giardia) she recommended giving her “Tums” and stated that she “didn’t care what the vet said, you can give a dog anything you can give a human.” Which confirms that she disregards veterinary care and is possibly ignorant of basic dog care/welfare.

After investigating the breeder- we returned to speak with Randy, the owner of Petland, Novi, MI. He said that he had bought the store 3 weeks ago and that Bella had been purchased from the previous owner. He was not aware of what broker she was bought from. Randy also stated that on purchasing the Petland store (franchise) he did not receive any of the invoices for pets in stock, so the tracking information was limited. He also assured us that our warranty would cover any illness she had contracted prior to purchase, and he paid for 1/2 of the emergency bill. (which  we appreciate.)

On review of Bella’s State of Mich health certificate- we noticed that she had also been treated for prior to sale for 10 days for an upper resp infection with antibiotics and nebulizer treatments. While individually possible, this many problems and red flags leads us to believe that Bella is not a “designer dog” but a puppy mill puppy.

We believe Bella received adequate care since being purchased from the broker. (based on the vet record and our observation of caring staff during repeated visits prior to purchasing her.) However,  I feel we were misled about her history, and with the breeders refusal to even share photos or other dame/sire information, we may have been misled about her breed altogether. In addition, based on breeder contact, I doubt both the competence and care level of the breeder.

The bottom line? We paid a huge amount, for a puppy mill pooch without even assurance of her breed. We have experienced countless sleepless hours, fear of losing a new and beloved pet, hours driving back and forth to the Petland recommended vet and many tears and a nightmare experience in place of a loving, happy pet adoption. As most loving pet owners we will do what is necessary to create a happy future, regardless of her sad past.

I will be further investigating Petland business practices and it’s choosing (past and present) of brokers/breeders. What I hope to see, is a rise in it’s standards to assure other families don’t experience what we have. I believe in and support local businesses, and in the right for Petland to continue to sell puppies- I simply believe there are enough reputable and loving breeders that this could be done without the use of puppy mills.

We are currently waiting to see if any of our family members or other pets will come down with Giardia, or if we will find any more serious issues with Bella, our journey has just begun, we hope it becomes a happier one.

(As sent via email to Petland Corporate Offices on June 8, 2009)

 

Pup-date

Bella has been slowly progressing:) She spent Thurs – Saturday in 2 different animal hospitals. Yesterday, we met with the vet and had a hard decision to make. She had not yet eaten anything on her own, and was on an IV.  The vet office was closing for the weekend.

We could either :
a) transfer her back to the emergency clinic until she improved enough to come home.
b) bring her home and try to get her to keep something down, hoping that being home may help her improve faster, knowing that we were risking a run to the emergency room at any point.

we opted to try to bring her home and make her comfortable.

Well- as comfortable as a pooch can be with a syringe of food being squirted into her mouth every few hours.

Suffice to say, the first force feed went poorly and she threw up. We were convinced that Bella was headed back to the ER. We called both the Petland owner and the vet to keep them posted.

We waited a while before trying again, and then gave her a dose of raglan syrup before trying. After the raglan, she showed a bit of interest in her cheese treats. We crushed a couple up and she took a few bites. You’d have thought the Red Wings won the Cup with all the cheering over those first few bites.

Bella continued to drink water last night and have a few bites of cheese treats supplemented with “puppy boost” to make sure her blood sugar didn’t drop too low. (Yorkies and other small breeds are prone to hypoglycemia)

This morning, she ate several more cheese treats and then finally, this afternoon she ate actual food!  What you didn’t hear the Hallelujah chorus?  We sure did. 

It’s been a long and scary road with the little pooch. We thought she wasn’t going to make it.  But now it looks like she’s on the mend.

Sadly, we’ve been investigating the breeder, and it there are some indicators that Bella may have been from more of a mill than a family type breeder. Bella was first sold to a broker and then the petshop. When we contacted the breeder, she was defensive and refused to send pictures of the dame and sire. There are a few complaints filed against her, but her USDA inspections have shown compliance.

It’s possible that Bella’s illness could be a fluke, a normal puppy risk gone very bad, or it could be a typical puppy mill experience.  We may never know.  But we’ll be investigating what we can, to try and help other families that go through what we’ve been through this week.  What we’ve been through is a nightmare.

The decision to add another pet to our family was long discussed and we visited several before finding the right chemistry.
Bella was the one. So, we visited several times before adopting her.  While she was living at Petland, Bella seemed both happy and healthy and responded well to her caregivers there.

The Petland owner has covered all of Bella’s vet care (under their puppy warranty) while she’s been at their recommended vet and half of the emergency care bill. Fortunately her illness hasn’t been compounded by a huge vet bill for us.  However, it certainly has been a sad, frightening way to bring a new puppy into our family. Countless sleepless hours worrying and driving back and forth for visits and transfers and discussions.  Many of those car trips I spent trying to cry it all out before I got home to the boys.   

So now.. there is  question…Would I do it again? well…thats a question I can’t really answer, I’m glad we have her and were able to give her the care she needed. If we didn’t walk into Petland and fall in love with her.. I don’t know how or where she’d be today. On the other hand.. had we not?  We would not have been through all we have.

 

 

Bella at the vet and Bella starting to feel well enough to attack the laundry:) Yeah, we like her:)

 

The good, the bad and the downright scary.

The good: Bella had been adjusting to our family well. The bad- yesterday afternoon she became very ill. Over the course of the day, she stopped eating- came lethargic and got diahrrea. We took her to the vet who recommended the emergency room for overnight care, because her blood sugar levels were dropping and she was in danger. She also had a low white blood count which suggested a more dangerous possibility of Parvo. 

The good news is, she has Giardia, and possibly an additional virus, but not likely Parvo, as her blood counts are improving. She is still not eating, but back at the regular vet on an IV and improving.

Prayers appreciated for our new pooch.

We were conflicted about purchasing from a petstore (Petland, in Novi Michigan) as we know there are risks involved. We researched their business practices and asked about breeder information. And yet, without knowing, we adopted a very sick pup.

Bellas glucose levels were dangerously low last night but are now improving with IV. She also is being treated for the Giardia. Fortunately, when we spoke to Petland tis afternoon, they agreed to pay for half of the emergency care bill and all of the regular vet bill to assure Bellas health. This is above and beyond their normal warranty/ purchase contract, and we are glad they have stepped up.

Hopefully, Bella will be well enough to come home soon, (please pray her counts continue improving and she starts to eat) and we can resume our training and adjusting to our new pet.

it’s amazing how attached you can become in a short amount of time! Humans are wired to care for God’s creation, and to love, this I am sure of.
But we are even more wired to love God and other human’s which I value even
more than our precious pets:)

It has been encouraging to see how tender my he man guys have been in regards to Bella’s sickness, and our shared times of prayer have been precious, as always:) I’ve also been touched by their tenderness towards me and understanding my wiring as a mom and animal lover… I have a pretty amazing family.. :)

In happier news- my college boy passed his road test yesterday and is now a legal driver! Today he picked up Wendy’s for he and Noah.. something they have been colluding about for quite a while:)

Will update soon- hopefully with even more happy news! hugs your pets and family.. I’m hugging mine extra tight today:) even as am letting go at the same time…:)

 

Bella!

welcome Bella to our adventure!